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Post by tanner on Mar 17, 2011 14:48:08 GMT -5
Tanner purely believed that one should treat one with the same decency, respect, and attitude in which they wanted to be treated. He believed he was treating her in a rather awesome manner, because well she was letting herself really show and he was really liking what he was seeing.
"Alright" he said beliving her as a small smile crept up on his face. He was glad to know he hadn't done anything wrong, because well Tanner hated that. "As long as you are sure." he said just to make sure it really was fine.
To be happy in life you had to be accepting of who you were and how you looked. Other people wouldn't be accepting of you until you were accepting of you. That was his outlook in life. Sure, models had a lot of self conscious issues to an extent, but inner and outer peace was the best thing tey could accomplish. She seemed pretty comfortable well to what met the eye that was, but he could tell there was something deeper which had to do with her family obviously.
"Hmm about me alright I am here, because most of times when I have a heavy issue to deal with I turn to alcohol to make it better, but then I just drink to just quench my thirst and have a good time, so its like and exit and an entrance..." he said with a small shrug. He could control it though, but he loved himself a good bottle or so.
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Post by zilya alexis raskolnikov on Mar 18, 2011 21:58:21 GMT -5
"I'm sure," she told him with a smile. Zilya always believe in that old saying.. fake it till you make it. So pretending everything was all fine and good was like second nature to the girl. Why think about the bad when it would only bring you down? That was some pretty sound logic right there.
Zilya just nodded. She understood that a little. "I've been drunk before, a few times," she admitted, pressing her toes into the sand. "They always have alcohol and usually drugs also at the parties I go to," she told him. Yes, this was a topic she could handle.
It wasn't all good things but she didn't mind talking about it. She wasn't perfect. She had her problems and since he was starting to talk about him, she could point to some of hers too. it was only fair after all.
"It's like a common thing to find cocaine," she told him with a shrug. "It makes you not want to eat. I think maybe that's why it's popular there," she admitted. She had tried it a few times but just at those parties. Zilya wouldn't let herself get addicted to drugs, it was just too much extra drama that she really didn't need.
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Post by tanner on Mar 19, 2011 0:18:32 GMT -5
"Fine, but just cause your smiles going to make me cave and stop but if I found out you are lying miss..not sure how i would but if Ido...then there will be consequences." he joked with a smile appearing on his face. That may or may not make her feel better he wasn't sure. Something was still wrongish, but he ws just going to let it go because thats what she seemed to want.
"Pshh no way! he shook his head disapproving. "Aren't you under age! That's illegal I shoudl turn you in." he joked with a wink. He was full of them today it seemed, but she was making him kind of happy and well he just let them rolloff his tongue. They were very much amusing.
Thought no one was perfect. There was different things that everyone tried just for the experience. Even models though they looked like godesses They had their faults he knew that.
"I've never had cocain before." he admitted. He had smoked some weed, but he was to afraid of the other shit. He had seen some of his friends go down that road. He'd rather kill his liver as weird as that seemed. "Ah, I'll remember that if I get a gut." he said patting his stomach though he was kidding. Maybe, thought it wasn't something he should joke about and he instantly regretted it.
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Post by zilya alexis raskolnikov on Mar 19, 2011 0:35:36 GMT -5
Zilya smiled but stopped to think about it for a second. "Do you think it's bad if you keep secrets from someone?" she asked, wanting to get his opinion on it. "Like if it is something that people don't notice until you tell them.. And you chose not to tell them, is that still a lie?" she asked, getting all philosophical and contemplating ethics and all.
She still just stood there, enjoying the sun shine and the feel of the sand. It was nice out there on the beach and this boy seemed nice enough if anyone wouldn't mind so much about she was it was him but then there was the possibility that he might turn on her and decide it was wrong and be thoroughly disgusted. Zilya frowned as she contemplated the possibility. It wasn't so out there. She remembered her dad being nice and all before the divorce and now after all these years he treats her like some kind of monster. Would this boy do that too? Perhaps she had made a mistake in asking her questions.
Zilya just smiled. "There are girls sometimes as young as fifteen or even fourteen," she told him. "Usually they are with their parents so they don't drink or do anything unless they are not watching," she told him. Ah, the secret and very sneaky lives of models. It was fun though being at those parties. There was some bitchiness back stage but on the surface there was always acceptance and friendships, even if it was mostly superficial it was something at least.
Zilya had skipped all the gateway drugs and gone straight to trying the good stuff, the expensive stuff. She wouldn't keep doing it though. She wouldn't let herself become like that.
When he joked about it, Zilya hand moved to her stomach and she turned away just slightly, getting a bit self-conscious. Some of those girls would worry about being fat but she had to worry about being a boy too. She didn't need that being obvious and she hated it. She hated having to think about that when other girls didn't have that problem.
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Post by tanner on Mar 19, 2011 4:44:50 GMT -5
Tanner looked at her he could tell she was really worried about something and he bit her lip. "Yes, and no I mean if its important to you to keep it a secret I don't see why you should put yourself out of your comfort zone and spill it...You have to be true to yourself." he advised. He kept secrets. Not as big as hers, but well he felt like if you weren't ready to tell someone then maybe they weren't worth telling. "and yes if its something crucial to the opposite person like say your in a relationship and get pregnant that would be a bad secret to kep frome the male in the relationship, but its not a lie its just kind of withholding."
Though if and when she told Tanner her secret. His reaction would pry be silent at first, because he wouldn't want to say the wrong thing. The boy really wouldn't mind though. He wans't one of those guys to go off and be rude. People were who they were and to not like them and treat them differently for it was wrong. Tanneh firmly believed in equad rights. He also belived karma could be a little bitch, but that wouldn't be what he was afraid of with miss Zilya. He would honestly be afraid of saying the wrong thing, but that was about it. He was generally an accepting dude.
"That is pretty crazy." he admitted, but then Zilya was sixteen or seventeen so he couldn't say much. Surely, she had been exposed to this stuff for sometime and well sheturned out to be a rather cool girl. Sure, the modeling industry could change you, but her personality seemed to be just fine and all her own. He liked that most about her. Brought a random smile to his face as he thoughtabout it.
Drugs were a bad habit, but then so was his habit. He really couldn't say much. Everyone had their poison. He just knew drugs weren't his and he was perfectly alright with that.
He bit his lip and looked away and then back at the hand on her stomach. "Sorry." he said he really hadn't thought about it until after he had said it. She was thin and that was what he assumed she was here for so he should have just been a lot more careful with his words and such. He felt like an ass and an idiot wrapped up in one.
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Post by zilya alexis raskolnikov on Mar 19, 2011 19:41:23 GMT -5
Zilya thought about it as he spoke. It made a lot of sense. Her secrets were hers to keep and with how well she guarded it, simply telling the people she had only just met would defeat the purpose entirely. No, she could wait to get to know him a bit better and perhaps give him the chance to get to know her. That way he won't run from this quite as readily. Yes, that sounded like a much better plan.
Zilya managed a half-smile but her eyes still looked sad. She tried not to think too much about the future. She did love children but she would never ever be able to have any. This was just how it was. She could have the operation and she could be more like a girl physically but it wouldn't change anything. She would never be able to children or have a real family without adopting or something. She didn't mind that so much but it still wasn't quite the same.
Zilya nodded in agreement. "It is bad but that's how it is. You hear a lot of stories, especially when you are new, there are some people you have to avoid," she told him. There were a few horror stories but Zilya was unique and she managed to avoid most of it. Some of her friends though, weren't so lucky. She had quite a few stories that she could tell him if he was ever curious about it.
"People think modeling is easy, that it will be a fun job to do but nothing is perfect," he admitted. Behind the shiny facade was a world full of hidden dangers but Zilya knew all about that. She had a shiny facade too but behind that was someone who wasn't sure of herself, someone who was just a little broken but apt at pretending that things were fine.
"You shouldn't apologize so much," she told him with a smile. The hand had immediately gone away like nothing was wrong. She didn't want him to have to be careful around her. She didn't think that she was that fragile or anything and she need to be treated like a porcelain doll that might break.
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Post by tanner on Mar 21, 2011 0:41:41 GMT -5
Tanner knew how sacred secrets could be he didn't let anyone on to his secret of being depressed. That was what the alcohol was it was his outlet and he was happy most the time, but there were things that could make him go back to that place. That would be bad. He didn't talk to anyone during that state of mind and well he didn't let anyone near him. That was so unlike Tanner.
Tanner loved everyone just the same as long as theyd did not get under his skin. Kids, adults, women, men, prostitutes...etc. He didn't really care he could get along with just about anyone. He was going to be one hell of a dad someday. He would even adopt didnt matter how. He was adopted to sit was more likely that he would want to show kids a good home.
"Yeah, but you tend to get that everywhere." he said honestly there was certain people you had to not come into contact with. There was some people that Tanner could go near back home. He would get pissed off and he would really wreck someone.
He nodded a little bit when she said that modeling wasn't perfect. He could totally understand that. Work wasn't work if you had fun doingit, but there was times where you wanted to kill someone! Well not kill that was extreme, but yeah. "Yeah I'm sure its not all as sweet as its made out to be" he said in an understanding tone.
"Im s-" he laughed a litle and held his ands up. "Okay okay." he sai with a laugh. It was just a natural reaction! He couldn't find himself to help it.. It was not her it was something he did often, because he felt the need to say it. LIke a bad habit.
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