muscles [[open]]

[tanner]

This conversation was apparently dead and it was a good time for it to be too because they were at the beach. This was time for some unpredictable fun. Or so he had talked it up but well he didn't want to go throw the girl in the water, because he was sure she would get mad, but maybe they could go in and it would be fun? After all it was nice.

Staroids is what everyone predicted to be the cause of Tanner's muscles. He didnt believe in supliments. The only supliment that made him feel better was drinking, but that didn't help gain muscle. He had been slender once, but he looked so flat and scrawny. He didn't like that look at all.

He watched her sit. Well, that was cool too because it would be relaxing. He laid down next to her. "Eh nevermind I'm not in the mood anymore..." he teased and put his hands behind his head. "So...tell me about this model stuff miss fashion icon." he said wanting to know more about her personally. Maybe that might be nice for her.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya just sat there, she smiled and looked down at him. It could just be a nice quiet day where they could relax and just talk or something. She smiled and looked back at the waves crashing gently across the sand.

"There's not much to tell," she told him. "I go, I wear all these strange clothes, they take pictures, i get paid and then my mother i go shopping," she said with a shrug.

"Or i go, i get all this hair and make up done and i wear even more strange clothes, try not to get lost in the chaos backstage, talk to some people for interviews, answer a lot questions i would rather avoid, walk down the run way, get changed, do it again a few mroe times and then eventually i go home," she told him, perhaps giving too much info with the questions she didn't want to answer since they were often about gender and sexuality like Zilya was some kind of icon for a new breed of model.. She sort of was but she'd rather avoid that, everyone seemed to expect her to have an opinion and she really didn't.

[tanner]

The day at the gym had turned into a day at the beach but he was cool with tht because he got to winddown. He had a really decent work out and well this was a nice place to just cool off and hang out with his new friend that wasn't too bad on the eyes. She was shy but a total sweety at the same time.

"Strange so do you not like what you model?" he asked her raising a brow to see what she might have to say about that. She wondered if somehow she had been forced into the modeling industry. Though she seemed to like the paycheck enough to splurge on shopping.

Well, he was sure like any other job modeling could have its trouble, because well surely there was drama and what not. He could only imagine. Then there was the whol point of letting someone play with your hair and your face and if they fucked up then there was bad publicity and that whole stunt. "What kind of questions do they ask?" he asked wondering seeing as how she said she tried to avoid them and well he wonderedhow pwesonal they really got. "I mean if you want to share." he said not wanting to get as personal as they had.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

"Usually I do, but some times some clothes are just ugly like this fur coat, all the way to the floor, it was in strips of fur, it looked very weird," she began to explain. It was just one of those things you got used to. At first it was just amazing to know that people actually wanted her for photo shoots and things and then it was knowing that she could model and a girl and be attractive. Next it was just the sort of things she model, they were always tasteful but Zilya had been self-conscious, especially about showing too much of her body. It was good though, this job taught her to like herself a little more, despite still wanting more.

"and sometimes it's because it shows too much and then I think maybe it doesn't look good,, like when you can see all of legs it's a bit weird at first and one time even there was just lace and jacket but the pictures look nice in the end so it's okay I think," she finished. There were really only those two things that made her not want to wear something.

Zilya froze when he asked his question. She was mentally freaking out because now she had said too much and she had to think of the sorts of questions she could tell him about since most of it had to do with the fact that she was different and was a novelty.

"Just anything," she said before becoming more specific. She wasn't going to avoid the question and she wondered if she should tell him, at least this would buy her a bit of time to decide.

"Depends on who they are and what shows or sometimes magazines," she told him. "Usually they ask about the show, the clothes or the designers," she said, the word 'usually' helped justify the fact that she was avoiding a big part of it. She wondered if he might pick up on that and ask and if he did she supposed she would tell him and if not then perfect she was safe for another day.

[tanner]

”Yeah, well sometimes I think fashion is a bit weird to but I’m a big fashionita, so its like hard to turn down some looks because everyone wants me wearing their stuff.” he said with a grin. Just letting her know that he thought they were ugly as well sometimes depending on the outfit, but it also depended on the model as well. Some girls or guys depending on what you were watching could really make the clothes look better than they really were, but some things couldn’t be helped.

”Legs aren’t that bad though if you were modeling bras and underwear you might want to let them know you don’t like to do that kind of modeling.” he said just because he could tell she would think it as not comfy whatsoever. Comfort zones were very important to people or they would be there at all. He was comfy just about anywhere but girls were more self-conscious ”Though I am sure your pictures looked great miss.” he said complimenting her.

Tanner had not thought too much about that, because well he just figured she’d tell him what she was willing to and he was okay with that. It went back to the comfort zone analysis.

”Got it.” he said not really getting it but he was going to drop it because well he didn’t know what the term anything really meant in this case and he wasn’t a pusher. Unless someone needed guidance.

"Depends on who they are and what shows or sometimes magazines," she told him. "Usually they ask about the show, the clothes or the designers," she said, the word 'usually' helped justify the fact that she was avoiding a big part of it. She wondered if he might pick up on that and ask and if he did she supposed she would tell him and if not then perfect she was safe for another day.

”Yeah, that seems about right.” he said when he got to thinking about it. He should have been more blunt with his question, but then he was glad he hadn’t because she didn’t see too too open to answering it anyways. ”Alright so...” he trailed off going to let

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya just laughed. It didn't matter how bad the clothes were or how much she didn't like it. If Zilya was hired for a job then she should either keep her opinions to herself or like the clothes. Admitting to not liking it was not really an opinion when you were being paid to make it look good and that was exactly what she would try to do.

"I don't model those kinds of things anyway," Zilya admitted. Anything too revealing would make it obvious that she wasn't quite a girl. She mainly relied on good angles and skill but if it showed too much then it wouldn't be easy to fool the world.

"Thanks," Zilya said with a smile. She enough good pictures to keep her working so that was a good sign. "I have a few pictures in my phone if you want to see them," she told him. It was just a few good ones she kept on her phone, the full collection stayed in her portfolio.

Zilya just nodded. She felt the conversation was slowing down and she was sure that at least part of the reason was that she was hiding so much. Still, she didn't want it to be true so letting someone else in on it was not something that she would want to do.

Standing up, Zilya brush the sand off her and moved forward a little, looking out at the sea. She missed her old life a lot but she knew things were never going to be the same. She sighed and stared out a moment longer before turning to Tanner. "Do you miss your family?" she asked him. He hadn't been here long either but Zilya was already homesick and she wondered if he was too.

[tanner]

Tanner couldnt really imagine all the issues in modeling. It had to be difficult even though it looked easy. You were required to walk a certain way. Weight was a big issue. You had to make the clothes look good and they often wore you. If you fell, hooked up with someone, got bad publictiy then it would he be harder to work.

"Sometimes it can be very tackish so I understand that." he could understan that sometimes well girls didn't want to be demeaning to their bodies and well he respected that very much.
.
"Your very welcome." he said and then she offered for him to see her photos. He didn't want to seem like a perv, but he didn't want to see an ass. "Yeah, sure lets see 'em" he said figuring it couldn't be harmful and figured that she'd look breathtaking rather then him looking like a perv.

Tanner only laid there with a smile trying to think of something more for them to talk about. Then he thought something that may be fun for the girl. He hoped she wouldn't take it wrong or anything. "So, don't take this as me coming off as weird, but wanna burry me in the sand im sure it'd get some laughs and its pretty random." he said just throwing it out there.

That thought was kind of shot when she shot up. He figured it may have been time to getup anyways. "Maybe later"he said standingup and doing the same thing. He looked out at the water and then turned to her. "Um well I miss my foster family a little bit but my real family everyday." he said with a small nod. Every foster child had an empty whole.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya didn't know what 'tackish' was or even meant but she skipped right past it, gettin the general meaning of what he had said. English was hard for her to pick up and she didn't like to ask too many questions, it just got annoying for people if she kept asking something every five seconds so instead she just smiled and went along with it.

Zilya picked up her phone and clicked into the gallery part, before hitting photos and handing him the phone. There really wasn't much in there, just a few modeling shots, and a few pictures of her and her mother as well as one of her and a friend.

"Bury you? In the sand?" she asked, it sounded like a pretty crazy idea. Did people really do that? And what would be the point? "I've never buried someone like that before," she admitted. Was this normal activity? No, probably not, he did say it was random after all. Zilya nodded, "Yes, maybe later," she agreed.

Zilya nodded. She didn't know why she had to go and pick such a sad topic. Maybe it was because she was sad too and just wanted to be happy but didn't quite know how to go about getting that for herself.

[[pics: one two three four five six seven eight plus some of her mother who'll be blonde and beautiful ]]

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya didn't know what 'tackish' was or even meant but she skipped right past it, gettin the general meaning of what he had said. English was hard for her to pick up and she didn't like to ask too many questions, it just got annoying for people if she kept asking something every five seconds so instead she just smiled and went along with it.

Zilya picked up her phone and clicked into the gallery part, before hitting photos and handing him the phone. There really wasn't much in there, just a few modeling shots, and a few pictures of her and her mother as well as one of her and a friend.

"Bury you? In the sand?" she asked, it sounded like a pretty crazy idea. Did people really do that? And what would be the point? "I've never buried someone like that before," she admitted. Was this normal activity? No, probably not, he did say it was random after all. Zilya nodded, "Yes, maybe later," she agreed.

Zilya nodded. She didn't know why she had to go and pick such a sad topic. Maybe it was because she was sad too and just wanted to be happy but didn't quite know how to go about getting that for herself.

[[pics: one two three four five six seven eight plus some of her mother who'll be blonde and beautiful ]]

[tanner]

Tanner didn't really know if he insulted her or not, because she didn't say much but the smile let him know he couldn't have done too bad of a job talking or he might have in turn got hit. Though that would be off on her part because she didn't know him to well and he could just leave her at the beach if she did that. Not that he ever would, but yeah.

Very gently he took her phone and started looking through her modeling pictures. She wasn't showing off he knew that much but they were really great, sexy, hot...yeah he felt like a perv now. "Dang your boyfriend must be really lucky." he said throwing that out there, because that was a typical malesc thing for him to do. "You were right great photos"

Suddenly he remebed how bad that sounded. "Well, not my whole body just like everything but my face, but that would take sometime.." he said and nodded when she said maybe she would attempt it later. That was fair enough. "Think the water is cold?" he asked her with a smirk.

He saw her expression seem rather sadened by his answer. "...but hey its like but what about you do you miss home?" he asked her curious, because well she asked him. It was a fair question.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya's smile turned into a bit of a grin when he said that. It was quite a compliment, especially with the way he had said it. Even with the slight language barrier, it was hard to misinterpret the tone. "No boyfriend," she told her. "I don't date.. Too complicated," she told him. Partly it was because the traveling made it had to actually date someone when she had work and study to keep up with but most of it was to do with the fact that she would need someone who understood what she was.

Zilya was used to feeling isolated and different so being able to talk to someone so easily but both nice and rare. This was why she appreciated Tanner's company. He was just such a nice guy [and she so won't tell him what she is till he tries to kiss her btw lol]

"Thanks," she said. Zilya was just getting all kinds of compliments today, but she didn't take it too seriously. He didn't know what she was.. Or wasn't. That would change everything. He would probably hate her if he knew.. She was thoroughly convinced of that. Remembering all the things her father said and did.. She hadn't seen him since she was six and hope she could get to know him again and have a normal life but instead she got buried in hate... She bit her lip, wanting to cry again but knowing better. She wouldn't do that, not out here, not like this.

Zilya just smiled as he talked about getting buried. "How do you know I won't leave you there?" she asked with a slight smirk. She could just bury him really deep and just leave him there to struggle and get out.

Zilya looked out at the ocean when he asked her if she thought it was cold. "Probably but Russia is a cold place so what I think is cold maybe is not the same as what you think," she said, trying to phrase it properly.

Zilya looked down at the sand, her left hand, holding onto her right arm as she turned back to him, not really looking at him. "I miss my mother," she told him before sitting back down. It wasn't just home, it was her life before now. The life with her mother when she was actually happy.

[tanner]

Tanner watched her smile but itseemed like a girn form ear to ear and what not. He really didn't pass judgement, maybe there was someone, but then that reply was kind of shot down by her answer. "Got it I was just about to call Russian boys crazy" he said a smirk now forming on his face. Well, they were still crazy for not trying a little harder,but he didn't want to go to far and look like a weirdo.

The day with her was aprreciated. It hadbeen sometime sense he actually got to sit down and kind of hang out one on one with someone like her.

Her voice seemed to trail off and he kind of figured he should stop complimenting her. Models pry got tired of compliments and he could understand that, because well it was obvious to him. He just bit his lip and nodded a little bit. Anytime." he said cassual yet trying to be smooth and cool and letting the go in his voice so maybe she might laugh because he looked a little down?

"Well I don't know that you won't leave me here, but I mean eventually I'll get out and well I know where you go to school." he teased winking at her. Well, he knew where she lived to, but he wasn't going to go that far.

"Ah." he replied as if he had learned something from that whole bit. He had Russia was cold, but he was kind of asking so that maybe she'd go dip her feet in withhim or something.

Now, he had brought a bad topic about. He bit his lip and took a couple steps till he was in front of her putting a goofy smile on. "Hey I'm sorry I didn't mean to." he said just trying to make er feel better.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Things were going great so far and Zilya was actually happy but still, she couldn't help but think that things would go down a completely different road if only he knew about it. In a way it feel like she was lying to him though this wasn't Zilya's intention. She just didn't want it to be in the way and that was how she always saw it. It was this thing that was just there and most people just couldn't see part it.

It was nice of thing to say all those things and though Zilya did appreciate it, she didn't want to give it much value. It just didn't feel real to her. Though this probably made her dislike herself even more, thinking that no one would ever think such things, even when they did and literally told her about it. Zilya was just a hard person to convince.

Zilya laughed and nodded. He had a good point there. He knew just where to find her and then she'd be in trouble. "Okay, maybe I won't leave you then," she decided with a smirk. Nope, wouldn't want to get in trouble, especially with him being all strong and stacked with a ton of muscle.. Damn, he looked good and Zilya found herself distracted again before quickly turning away. No, she shouldn't do that, it wasn't right.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she told her. She was the one the brought it up. it was all she could really think about. It was either missing her mother and remembering just how much her father hated her and missing someone seemed a lot easier to deal with.

She had always been incredibly close to her mother which for a boy would be rare enough but Zilya had never felt like a boy. She had always felt different and her mother was the first person to accept it and let her be what she wanted to be. The woman always understood and Zilya missed that understanding. She missed not having to explain herself and what she was and have to convince someone that this wasn't wrong.

[tanner]

This was an enjoyable day for Tanner thus far. It was peaceful and nothing was wrong. He was glad to have met this girl. She was very cool and well and he was honestly having a blast. He hoped she was too, because while she was nice and all she wasn't all that easy to read. Something hidden about her made him kind of want to know more.

The compliments he was throwing out again must have been making her feel uncofortable He would have to remember to stop,because maybe she just wasn't interested in compliments or his let alone.

Tanner smirked when she suddenly had change of heart about leaving him laying burried in the sand. Someone should know better then to do so because sand wasn't that hard to get out of. "Yeah, I thought so." he said shaking his head some at the thought because if he was left in the sand he would find her and pry tickle her till she peed or something. He didn't believe in being violent towards woman.

"I asked the wrong question..." he said feeling bad about it because she looked really really sad which meant her mother was gone like his or possible she might have been deceased and well that would be really sad if that was the case because well he'd feel worse!

Most girls were really close to there mothers and well that was because they were their guidance, their rolemodels, their best friend, their confidant, their pretty much everything. They understood everything even if you were wrong and they always knew how to make you feel better.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya just smiled. He was so nice, perhaps too nice. She didn't deserve anyone being that nice to her, not after everything, at least that was what she believed.

"No, no it's not you," Zilya told him. He hadn't said or done anything wrong and she only wanted to make sure he knew that. "It's fine," she told him, and forced on a smile.

Everything was just wrong in her life right now which was hard to deal with because she had gone from a great life, one in which she was very happy. She didn't have everything she wanted but she was happy and now she just wasn't. Now she was lost and she actually learned to hate herself a lot more than she ever had. Just thinking about the last week or so was horrible which was why she was eager to change the topic.

"Tell me something about you," she suggested. Making it about him would be just a little bit easier and it would distract her for a while at least. She just hoped he wouldn't mind so much.