castle walls ,

[victoria hope jean]

EVERYONE THINKS THAT I HAVE IT ALL
C A S T L E W A L L S
BUT IT'S SO E M P T Y LIVING BEHIND THESE

"Ugh," is all that came out of the young girl when she woke up. She really didn't want to wake up to reality. Especially if it was how it had been lately; shit. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around her dorm room. She noticed that her roommate had left and her papers she'd thrown to the floor last night had been placed on her desk. She let out a breath and rose up from her bed, ready to start the day. Thankfully, it was a weekend, so she didn't have any classes to go to, making her day better already.

Hope got dressed, and looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't dressed like that in a while; it reminded her of home. She smiled lightly and grabbed her guitar, walking out of her dorm. She bumped into a girl and muttered a sorry, but the girl pulled her back and got into her face. So maybe today wasn't going to be a good day after all, "Get the hell out of my face, right now," She said in a low, dangerous tone, her eyes narrowed into slits. She wasn't one to be messed with when she wasn't in a good mood. She really didn't want to put up with this girl at this moment in time. They just stood there, glaring at each other for a few minutes before Hope finally rolled her eyes and shook her head, "You're pathetic," She mumbled, passing the girl and moving onto where she was planning on going.

She pushed the doors to the building open, letting the cold hair hit her body. It didn't really bother her, which was weird since she was wearing a pretty short dress. She bit her bottom lip and walked towards the courtyard. Her day had already started off bad. She was glad that she brought her guitar with her, so that she could let off some steam. When she reached the courtyard, she smiled slightly and sat down on one of the stone benches. She pulled her guitar out of its case and tuned it, before beginning away, "I've been changing, but you'll never see me now," She sang softly to herself. This song reminded her of her brother and herself; their relationship. He had pushed her down so much, and she was sick of it. They just stopped talking. Yeah, she hated it; she missed her brother so much, but she doubted that they would ever make up. And even if they did, it would take a long time for her to trust him again, "Now I'm blaming you for everything."

_{THIS POST GOES OUT TO Alexander Cavalier AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE done! THERE ARE ABOUT 466 WORDS SO THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE WEARING this!. LIKE THIS SONG TOO? IT'S CASTLE WALLS BY T.I. FEATURING CHRISTINA AGUILERA. OH! BEFORE I FORGET, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT Ohh, she's worked up today. . CREDIT FOR THIS TEMPLATE GOES TO BUNNYA! OF CAUTION 2.0!.}

[alex]

Alex saw Victoria walk into the courtyard with her guitar. He was there for the time just lounging around. He had nothing better to do anyways. Alex watched as she sat on the stone bench. Maybe she just didn’t see him. He shook his head and went over to her. He went up from behind her and put his arms around her waist since her guitar case was sitting on the bench next to her, and she was tuning her guitar. He kissed her cheek lightly.

He listened to her as she began signing. It was a sadder song. He didn’t know if it was about him, and he hoped that it wasn’t. He had raped her, so it wouldn’t surprise him if it was. He leaned in and kissed her again when she finished the second line. ”That was cute” he said softly. He still kinda wondered if she was mad at him. She probably was, but he didn’t really care. It wasn’t his fault anyways.

She was the one that told him that he could fuck her, so he did. When she didn’t like it and told him to stop, he did. What more could she ask for. Just thinking of that night pissed him off. He knew that he had to get a hold on his anger though. They wouldn’t let him leave until he controlled it. Along with his sex addiction, drug addiction, and alcohol addiction. He was just one big fuck up.

WORDS ;; 250ish
STATUS ;; Finished
TAGGED ;; hope
OUTFIT ;; here
NOTES ;;

[victoria hope jean]

EVERYONE THINKS THAT I HAVE IT ALL
C A S T L E W A L L S
BUT IT'S SO E M P T Y LIVING BEHIND THESE

"No more holding it in, how many years can I pretend? Nothing ever goes the way it should," This song was pretty depressing, but it described her life so well at a time like this. When she felt arms around her, her playing faded out, leaving nothing but the silence that surrounded them. She already knew who it was, but she didn't want to think that it was him. She wanted him to fade into the black, so she would never have to see him again. She felt terrible about what happened the last time they saw each other.

She knew it was her fault; she knew she shouldn't of gotten pissed off at him. But she just felt so worthless and she hated herself for what she had let happen. She let her anger out on Alex, hating him all over again. Yeah, she still had bad feelings about what happened months prior to her being here, she couldn't ever forget that. It was burned into her mind. Forever. When he leaned in and kissed her, she turned away from him, looking down at her guitar. She didn't want him to be here. It was ruining everything.

"Cute? Hardly," She finally spoke, quietly. It explained him, her, Conner. Everything. Everyone thought so badly of her, and she wanted to forget it all. And she was trying to. It was just harder than it looked, she thought she could forget everything when she came here. But everytime she talked to someone, they brought it back up. How great.

_{THIS POST GOES OUT TO Alexander Cavalier AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE done! THERE ARE ABOUT 268 WORDS SO THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE WEARING this!. LIKE THIS SONG TOO? IT'S CASTLE WALLS BY T.I. FEATURING CHRISTINA AGUILERA. OH! BEFORE I FORGET, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT Ohh, she's worked up today. . CREDIT FOR THIS TEMPLATE GOES TO BUNNYA! OF CAUTION 2.0!.}

[alex]

Alex felt her cringe away and he sighed. He leaned his head against her shoulder. He didn’t want her to feel bad, but whenever he was sad, she always did. ”Hope how long are you going to stay mad at me? At least I stopped this time. I did everything you told me to. I’m sorry” he said as he whispered into her ear.

When she pulled away he just let his hands drop down to his sides. ”I’ll just leave again if your going to be mad. I’ve said I’m sorry countless times” he said as he moved over towards one of the other benches. As he laid down, he had either leg on a side of the bench.

”Keep playing, your good.” he said as he closed his eyes. He wanted to relax, and having to worry about Hope hating him wasn’t going to work. That was the reason that he used her middle name, her nickname. She didn’t like Tori, and him being the only one that ever called her that, it made memories come back.

He rested his hands on his stomach and sighed. He was being extremely comfortable. He wanted to say more than he did, but he didn’t want to ruin anything. Yeah this didn’t seem like the asshole Alex, but he was in a rather good mood. The sun was out, even though it was still cold. It wasn’t snowing, there was little snow on the ground, and everything was fine. For the time being of course.

WORDS ;; 250ish
STATUS ;; Finished
TAGGED ;; victoria
OUTFIT ;; here
NOTES ;;

[victoria hope jean]

EVERYONE THINKS THAT I HAVE IT ALL
C A S T L E W A L L S
BUT IT'S SO E M P T Y LIVING BEHIND THESE

Hope let out a sigh and looked over at him, well as good as she could when his head was on her shoulder. She wasn't mad at him (okay, yeah she was. but not for last week.), she was just angry with herself for doing what she did with him. Yeah, it was a bad idea to say yes to him in the first place, but she knew that it was going to get him to shut up. She wasn't perfect, though, she made bad decisions. Maybe a little worse decision than she liked, but still. She regretted it, and she couldn't do anything to take it back.

"Alex, I'm not mad at you. Well, I mean, I am. I'll always be, there's always going to be some sort of hatred for you in my heart," She started talking, and she knew that she was rambling at first. She was just trying to put her thoughts into words, "I'm not mad at you for last week, that was my fault. I'm angry at myself for that." She couldn't help being mad at the boy, each time she saw him, she wanted to rip his hair out. She was still confused as to why she got along with him so well the other day. That would always come up in her thoughts, and it was driving her insane.

Hope just stared at him for a few moments, before she started playing the song again, "No more sitting in this place, hoping you might see it my way. 'Cause I don't think you ever understood. That what I'm looking for are the answers to why these questions never go away," She could just sit here and keep playing this song, hoping that it got into his mind that this is what she felt, or she could go over to the bench where he was laying and get him to talk to her. She would really love to just keep doing the first thing, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't get into his thick mind what the song was about.

_{THIS POST GOES OUT TO Alexander Cavalier AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE done! THERE ARE ABOUT 367 WORDS SO THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE WEARING this!. LIKE THIS SONG TOO? IT'S CASTLE WALLS BY T.I. FEATURING CHRISTINA AGUILERA. OH! BEFORE I FORGET, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT awe, he's being nice.(:. CREDIT FOR THIS TEMPLATE GOES TO BUNNYA! OF CAUTION 2.0!.}

[alex]

Alex listened to her as he made his way over to the bench. When she said that there was always going to be some hatred was when he laid down. As he closed his eyes though she said that she was may at herself for last week. Her decision to have sex with him, then make him stop in the middle of it was bad enough for him.

Alex let out another sigh. He didn’t know what she thought about him right now, but he was fine with that. He was here to get better. Or so his aunt thought. He was content staying the way he was. Although only a handful of people knew about that night at the party, and no one believed that it was true.

That’s basically what ended her up here. Him raping her, and then lying about it and taunting her. In his mind things couldn’t get better. In hers, he fucked everything up.

He could agree that she was singing a good song and that she was a good singer, but sadly he hated the topic. Something that changes and questions are being asked, in other words, the changing of him. From being an ass to all nice? He wasn’t sure, but it was an amazing guess.

”Sorry,” he started saying, but in truth he just wanted to tell her to stop being a cry baby. Crying never got anyone anywhere. ”I didn’t mean to” he said with a sigh.

WORDS ;; 250ish
STATUS ;; Finished
TAGGED ;; Hope
OUTFIT ;; here
NOTES ;;

[victoria hope jean]

EVERYONE THINKS THAT I HAVE IT ALL
C A S T L E W A L L S
BUT IT'S SO E M P T Y LIVING BEHIND THESE

Hope didn't know whether or not she wanted to keep playing. Well, she wanted to keep playing, but she didn't want to keep playing that song. It was just too depressing, and lately, she had wanted to play happier songs. With a soft smile, she switched the tune quickly into a happier song, Obvious by Hey Monday. It was one of the few bands she listened to that had a lead singer, with a singer that had a voice like hers. So when she sang the songs, she was really good. They were the best songs for her to sing.

"Let's make a mess, steal a kiss in the moment. You and me, everything that could be. Touch, don't go. Stay as long as you like," She sang happily, a smile on her lips. This song was way better for her, and it was already putting her in brighter spirits, even with Alex around, "Let's get reckless, dance with our hands to the beat. Don't let this slip through our fingers. It feels insane, don't you put up a fight." Lately, any song that she sang that had to do with couples, she thought of Kobby. It made her smile, to think that maybe she had a chance with him. Even if he did warn her about himself, she didn't care. She's had worse.

"Let's rought it up, till they shut us down," She was going to keep singing, but she heard Alex... apologizing? She stopped singing, but she didn't quit playing. She could multitask. She smiled softly at him and nodded, "I guess I could accept that apology.. But that doesn't mean that we're going to be all buddy-buddy again. Just saying."

_{THIS POST GOES OUT TO Alexander Cavalier AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE done! THERE ARE ABOUT 307 WORDS SO THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE WEARING this!. LIKE THIS SONG TOO? IT'S CASTLE WALLS BY T.I. FEATURING CHRISTINA AGUILERA. OH! BEFORE I FORGET, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT sorry for all the lyrics. i just love the song. . CREDIT FOR THIS TEMPLATE GOES TO BUNNYA! OF CAUTION 2.0!.}

[alex]

Alex laughed when she said that she could accept it, but it wasn’t going to be all buddy-buddy again. Once again she was portraying having an attitude. He really wanted to just do what he wanted, but sadly he’d ruin it. Again. He didn’t need that shit happening again. About two weeks ago she told him that they could have sex and so they did, she told him to stop and he did.

It took amazing willpower to even stop because usually he wouldn’t. Hell he didn’t at the party, and he hadn’t plan to in her room, but sadly he didn’t want to ruin things. He smiled as she sang a different song. It seemed like it was about a couple, and he knew it wasn’t about the two of them.

”I’m not stupid you know. I know we won’t be buddy-buddy but you shouldn’t sit there and hate me for just talking to you. You know I’m trying to change.” he said as he looked over at her and finally stood up. He didn’t know what to do, so he went over and just held onto her case as he sat down next to her.

WORDS ;; 200ish
STATUS ;; Finished
TAGGED ;; Hope
OUTFIT ;; here
NOTES ;;

[victoria hope jean]

EVERYONE THINKS THAT I HAVE IT ALL
C A S T L E W A L L S
BUT IT'S SO E M P T Y LIVING BEHIND THESE

Hope listened to the chords that she was playing. She seriously loved playing Hey Monday songs. They were just so fun to play; most of their songs were upbeat and that was the kind of songs that she liked to play. There were some circumstances when she would play the slow, sad songs like earlier, but it just upset her and she wanted to try not to be upset. She wanted to be the optimistic girl that she once was.

She bit her bottom lip so she wouldn't say something mean when he said that he wasn't stupid. Oh, how it was so easy for her to insult him just then, but she was nice and kept her thoughts to herself, "I'm not gonig to sit here and hate you, Alex," she said, quietly. Actually, she was. But she wasn't going to be mean to him as much anymore. She just didn't have the energy to come up with thousands of insults, or call him out on lying when he told someone a lie. She was sick of it, she just wanted to go back to how things used to be. "I'm glad you're trying to change, Alex. I believe you. You don't have to keep telling me that."

Hope was here to change, too. But it gets harder for her each day, especially when she sees Alex. She gets so scared that the same thing is going to happen all over again. She's afraid that she's going to let her guard down and trust him, only for him to do the same thing all over again. But, she wasn't going to get close to him again. She was going to make sure of it.

_{THIS POST GOES OUT TO Alexander Cavalier AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE done! THERE ARE ABOUT 300 WORDS SO THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE WEARING this!. LIKE THIS SONG TOO? IT'S CASTLE WALLS BY T.I. FEATURING CHRISTINA AGUILERA. OH! BEFORE I FORGET, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT sorry for all the lyrics. i just love the song. . CREDIT FOR THIS TEMPLATE GOES TO BUNNYA! OF CAUTION 2.0!.}