|
|
Post by amanda on Jan 17, 2011 11:14:14 GMT -5
Let's say amanda is better off talking on the chat then for real. She doesn't feel completely as fearful as she would if they were right there watching her with those eyes that seemed to stare straight through her. So yup, it was why she kept going on the chat a lot lately. She had talked to a few interesting people, some she hoped she'd never have to see outside of the chat.
But here she was, listening to someone she never met and going out of her room to play guitar. Okay so it made sense, Hope was sleeping and Amanda really wanted to play. She just didn't like being overheard, though half the time she fails at that anyway. So she grabbed her guitar and she setted off on a trip to the lake. Thanks to the same guy from the chat. Let's hope no one on there decides to show up just because they know where she is.
But she was willing to take that risk if it meant to have some time with just her and her music. So the lake wasn't that far, but she was bundled up in her jacket, holding her guitar and texting at the same time. Now that was a hard task at hand, but she seemed to be managing it pretty well. Until she slipped of course. Screw Amanda for never going out in the snow as a kid, her balance was horrible.
She didn't fall, thank god, her phone just landed in the snow. She groaned picked it up, hoping it didn't break, which thankfully it didn't. So she pocketed it and as she neared the icy lake she sat down pretty darn close and pulled out her guitar. Usually she'd be playing random nirvana songs for the hell of it. Or her own songs. But she just started to doodle, making nothing at all. That was how bored she was, and doodling sometimes led to some amazing songs.
But when she heard something behind her she turned slightly and her fingers froze on the strings. Ah yet again, why did her luck have to suck?
|
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Jan 17, 2011 11:27:37 GMT -5
Nathaniel walked by the lake, his phone in his hand as he type the odd message every now and then. It was pretty slow going online but that was just fine with him. He didn't want to have to think too much anyway, especially since he was just getting off the anxiety medication. They had switched it again and this time it worked great. Instead of flinching or cowering when a stray arm was waved at him, Nathaniel just moved away a little, not quite over reacting like he usually did.. Unfortunately the side effects indicated that the dose was much too high for the boy. It left him barely able to think so they decided to take him off it for a while and to try something new. For now, Nathaniel still felt wrong, like his thoughts were only just starting to catch up but it was definitely better than the alternative.
Walking by the lake with his guitar on his back, Nathaniel kept an eye out for a good spot to sit and play some music for a while and the eye on his phone until he later decided to log off. He had talked to a few people and even suggested playing by the lake since it was where he already was. He expected to not bump into the person he spoke to online, knowing the edge of the lake stretched pretty far, Nathaniel was certain he wouldn't bump into her.
Paying too much attention to his phone and not enough on his surroundings, Nathaniel was a little slow on noticing the person in front of him. Glancing up from his phone, Nathaniel stopped dead in his tracks, blue eyes opened wide like a deer caught in some headlights before taking a few steps back as though going near the girl could be life threatening. "Sorry, I.. I didn't... see you there," he apologised, finally getting the words out, still too caught off guard to even put his phone away.
|
|
|
|
Post by amanda on Jan 18, 2011 9:52:34 GMT -5
And we were never alive
And we won't be born again [/font][/color][/size][/center] credit to lenalethal of caution 2.0 Amanda should of known that whenever she wished something wouldn't happen, well it always seemed to happen. Luck was never on her side these days. But since her back was towards the guy, she couldnt remember his name, so she stood up and turned towards him. The worst mistake you can do is turn your back on an enemy. And even though she didnt know this guy, to her, he was an enemy. Just due to the fact that he was a guy.
So she stood her ground, hell she might have a fear but she refused to show it. She didn't want any guy to have the satisfaction of scaring her. Of having her run away in fear, no instead she just acted like an asshole towards them. But something about the way he said sorry made her feel a little safer? No just sorry for him. For whatever it is that made this guy mumble and apology to her.
For some reason it also excited her, the feeling that she could make someone feel the way everyone made her feel. Sorry. Sorry for being where she was, but Amanda never admitted this feeling, unlike the guy in front of her. She was sorry for everything, but she would never ever admit it to anyone, she hardly ever admitted the feelings to herself. So she also felt some kind of sympathy towards him as well.
But the one thing that stood out was the fear, he was a guy. Maybe this sorry thing was an act, an act to pry her away from her cold hearted nature to get under her skin and ruin her life. Yes Amanda always thought the worse of everything. So she let her usual anger seep up to the surface and she glared at him. "Maybe you should look where you are going," she said, feeling bad for it the moment the words left her lips. What if it wasn't an act and he really was sorry? How gave a damn, he was a guy and she didn't think he could be sorry.
But I'll never survive
Dead Memories In My HEART [/font][/color][/size][/center] tags;nathanie
notes;nothing
words;three five three
outfit;here
music;dead memories;slipknot |
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Jan 18, 2011 10:19:21 GMT -5
His heart rate increased and he was already starting to feel a little uneasy. He wasn't even that close to her now, having stepped back when he realised where he was going, but still, Nathaniel didn't like the situation. People were complicated and unpredictable especially at this place. Anyone near Hawthorne, or that he knew to be from Hawthorne couldn't really be trusted. Nathaniel couldn't knowfor sure what she was here for and the way she stood her ground like that made her look like she could be trouble which was what made him feel even more comfortable.
"I.. I know.. I'm sorry," he said, stuttering with his words as he apologised again while shoving his phone back in his pocket, he didn't want to be around especially if she was going to be hostile or just generally hate his presence which she seemed to as far as he could tell.
When he appeared to be angry, Nathaniel was even more uncomfortable with the situation, he wanted so badly to just leave but that would be rude and he couldn't think of a good reason to go so instead he settled for fidgeting uncomfortably with the strap that kept his guitar on his back and looked at the ground. The fact that she seemed angry made it worse because usually he could handle a situation like that.
"I should go," Nathaniel said as he took another shaky step back, glancing away for a second but not wanting to take his eyes off her for too long, just in case she turned out to be more than a little crazy and attacked him or something... Odd thing was that Nathaniel didn't even mind getting attacked as much as he minded just being touched.
|
|
|
|
Post by amanda on Jan 28, 2011 21:53:52 GMT -5
And we were never alive
And we won't be born again [/font][/color][/size][/center] credit to lenalethal of caution 2.0 Amanda kept being cought of guard by this boy. She was not used to people apologizing to her. It was strange and made her blink slightly before taking a step back. This guy seemed different then the rest and she gave a slight tilt of her head. Of course she never ever truely took down her guard, she was always ready at moments notice to kick some ass. But right now this strange acting guy made her think twice. Made her contemplate her whole basis of life. Which scared her even more, but excited her all at the same time.
She stepped foward, "You don't have to." She wanted him to leave, but then again she didn't. This strange boy intrigued her in some strange way. So she kind of wanted him to stay, she had no exact reasons for this. Other than that he was intriguing. But Amanda wasn't crazy and she wasn't going to completely let her guard down, but her features softened from the usual placed glare and into her more relaxed normal state. Her eyes softer then usual and her lips curled in a kind of tight smile.
"It's a free country," she said sitting back down, but keeping her back straight, ready at any moment to jump up if he appeared to be anything but how he seemed. She hoped she wasn't making false accusations and that he wasn't some Max type person or other.
But I'll never survive
Dead Memories In My HEART [/font][/color][/size][/center] tags;nathanie
notes;eh its sucky and short sorry
words;two;three;nine
outfit;here
music;dead memories;slipknot |
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Jan 29, 2011 5:51:05 GMT -5
Nathaniel glanced up at her. She didn't want him to leave? Or did she? She seemed really nice the one time that he spoke to her online but now she seemed like she wanted to get rid of him and next she as saying that he didn't have to leave? She even seemed to smile just a little. It was all very strange but he didn't mind. Nathaniel never really talked to too many people so sticking around for a few minutes wasn't going to be a bad thing.
"Yeah," he said, it was a free country, he didn't have to run away as soon as there was even a semi-good reason to. Nathaniel moved to the side, not so much forward but it gave the illusion of him being a little closer. Puling his guitar off, Nathaniel leaned it against a tree.
Looking at her, a few things seemed to make sense. "You don't really want me here, do you?" he asked, she didn't have to answer. The question had been more rhetorical than not. He recognised it. She reacted differently than he did but it was still the same fear behind it, being masked and hidden. Though perhaps she might have seen that in him too, after all, he was still keeping his distance.
|
|
|
|
Post by amanda on Jan 29, 2011 17:20:10 GMT -5
And we were never alive
And we won't be born again [/font][/color][/size]  credit to lenalethal of caution 2.0On chat Amanda always seemed nicer then when she met the person offline. Online, they had no clue where she was or how to find her. Plus when she was online the people weren't around her, closing in on her. Scaring the crap out of her. None of them could hurt her through the computer screen. So yeah, she was a lot nicer online.
But the online Amanda, was the real Amanda. The Amanda most people saw if they didn't leave when she started to be a bitch. The Amanda only few people got to know. Most just left her the hell of alone, and she didn't try arguing with that concept at all,
Until this moment when she told the guy to stay. that was against all her rational thoughts, but she humans were irrational beings. So here she was sitting down staring up at some guy, trying to look as calm as possible. But fear was coursing through her body.
She noticed his sidestep, but she was a smart girl. Hell she could of graduated if she wanted too. So she knew pretty darn well he wasn't any closer to her then before. Now that was another strange thing that she still didn't understand at all.
"Would it make a difference either way?" She shrugged and didn't go to her guitar, instead she just looked at him. Afraid to take her eyes off of him. Afraid of what would happen when she did.
But I'll never surviveDead Memories In My HEART[/font][/color][/size][/center] tags;nathaniel
notes;meh it kind of sucks i think XD and rambley
words;two;five;one;
outfit;here
music;dead memories;slipknot |
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Jan 29, 2011 23:17:19 GMT -5
"Not really," he admitted, his eyes still watching the ground intently. She was staring at him with that unrelenting gaze and it was kind of unnerving. It was making him feel uncomfortable but Nathaniel wasn't the type to make a big deal out of it if he could help but but since he was going to stay it was probably best to admit it.
"Could you.. possibly.. stop staring at me like that," he asked. It wasn't the phobia. He had his distance and that was fine with him but it was still uncomfortable to be stared at like that and any other person probably would have had a problem with it too.
Plus it felt like he was in some kind of trouble, like he had done something wrong and now she was just looking at him and he was waiting like something was going to happen. She didn't want him around her and he didn't want to be around anyone so technically that should have worked out well and this should be easy, but they didn't know each other and they certainly didn't trust each other. That much was obvious.
|
|
|
|
Post by amanda on Jan 30, 2011 11:55:16 GMT -5
And we were never alive
And we won't be born again [/font][/color][/size] credit to lenalethal of caution 2.0She just shrugged, no matter what she wanted it never happened that way. Something always seemed to go wrong, and she had learned to accept that. Well she was trying to accept that fact, it was still pretty damn hard.
It was hard to figure out that all guys weren't bad. Okay so she had met a few. But they were the oddities. Right? There were only few of them. Not many.
When he told her she was staring she looked away, but still watched him from the corner of her eyes. The first rule to any fight, not that this was a fight, was to never take your eyes off of the enemy. And he, by default, was her enemy.
She didn't have any clue of what to say or what to do so she kept her distance. Not wanting him to run off. Which was a strange thing, because some part of her still wanted him to leave. That part was strong, which was why she was still weary even though she was quiet calm for a situation like this. "So...You play?"
But I'll never surviveDead Memories In My HEART[/font][/color][/size][/center] tags;nathaniel
notes;nah
words;one;eight;seven
outfit;here
music;dead memories;slipknot |
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Jan 31, 2011 1:10:35 GMT -5
Nathaniel looked up and was grateful for the fact that she had actually stopped staring at him. It made him feel a lot better. Nathaniel hated being in the spotlight or getting too much attention. He was more of a blend into the background kind of guy.
"Thanks," he said quietly, still not really looking at her all that much. With a bit of distance between them, Nathaniel was fine. He had nothing to worry about at that moment. He knew that some of the people here were just plain scary and were capable of some pretty crazy behaviour but she seemed alright, if anything she seemed like she wanted him away from her which was exactly where he wanted to be so it was all good.
He smiled a little when she asked if he played. "Um.. yeah, a little," he told her as he picked up his guitar, which was a bit of an understatement. Nathaniel could definitely play and he could sing really well too which he failed to add to that little statement.
"What kind of music do you usually play?" he asked, she had a guitar guitar so it was safe to assume she could play a song or two but there were a lot of different varieties and personally Nathaniel went for slower music, stuff you'd except to hear around a camp fire but he wrote a lot of his own songs too, stuff he couldn't or wouldn't ever talk to anyone about. His songs were more like conversations about stuff he wouldn't actually care to talk about with anyone.
|
|
|
|
Post by amanda on Jan 31, 2011 10:32:43 GMT -5
And we were never alive
And we won't be born again [/font][/color][/size] credit to lenalethal of caution 2.0Amanda nodded, she wasn't planning on telling him 'you're welcome.' she thought of it as a stupid phrase to try and pull on peoples weaknesses. If you said it you were weak and easily manipulative. She wasn't either of those. Weak maybe but she refused to show it. She wasn't planning on giving no one, not even this boy who seemed as scared as she was, the satisfaction of seeing her weak.
She was glad that this had changed from them sitting in scared silence to music. It was something she could talk hours about and to anyone. If someone played something then she was less scared of them. Just because it was music and how could someone evil play such sweet things. So she calmed down a tad bit more, but still watched him from the corner of her eyes, but she grabbed her guitar again.
"That's cool. And I play random things..sometimes things i make up." She gave a slight smile, "My favorite thing to play is Nirvana though." Yes she was one of those girls, who listened to older rock music. Not that she discriminated against people who didn't just other things weren't her taste. "What do you play?" she asked honestly curious.
But I'll never surviveDead Memories In My HEART[/font][/color][/size][/center] tags;nathaniel
notes;nah
words;two;one;four;
outfit;here
music;dead memories;slipknot |
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Jan 31, 2011 23:24:22 GMT -5
"You write your songs?" Nathaniel asked, looking a little more interested now. He wrote a lot of his own songs too but never anything he would share with people. He would always keep everything to himself, he didn't like sharing anything too personal with people, especially people he didn't know all that well.
"Nirvana," he repeated, nodding as though he understood it and it all made sense. That wasn't the case though, "I don't actually know any Nirvana.. I've probably heard like one song by them," he admitted. It wasn't the sort of music he really listened to.
Nathaniel just shrugged. "Um.. Stuff like John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson... Probably stuff you wouldn't listen to if you like Nirvana," he admitted with a smile. They seemed to have very different taste in music but Nathaniel was fine with all kinds. He would listen to just about anything and everything.
|
|
|
|
Post by amanda on Feb 5, 2011 8:06:10 GMT -5
Amanda shrugged she never tried to make a big deal about writing. It wasn't really a big deal to her. Not at all actually. She was pretty chill when it came to her music and she didn't usually try to play her own songs around people. For many reasons. First the songs were softer then most people thought she capable of and she wanted to keep it that way. She liked being thought of as the chick who listens to slipknot and isn't afraid to kick ass. It usually got people to leave her alone. Except in this hell hole of course
She gave him a shrug, "Yup I kind of expected that reaction. Not many people no more then one song. It's always the same song." She just looked at her guitar, "80's rock is a dieing thing and the only people who listen to it are freaks like me and people from the 80's." She shrugged and looked up at him, not in the staring way but more in a less psychotic friendly way.
"Your one of those people," she said kiddingly and shrugged. "I personally don't listen to them but I don't care if anyone does." Which was half true. She didn't care who listened to them but she did when she wanted to. She would actually listen to them for a quick pick me up and she was alone. But no one knows that. It's her tiny little secret.
|
|
|
|
Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Feb 6, 2011 3:17:50 GMT -5
"Nah, music's music, the 80s were good. Personally I don't listen to much of it but if it was playing I would," he told her. He didn't hate any particular genre of music and he was fairly tolerant of difference and variety.
Nathaniel nodded. Yep, he was one of those people. His was a dying breed too, just like hers. He like slow, easy listening chill out songs when most people when for pop or techno or rnb or something..
There was a whole lot of music out there so despite a love of a specific genre, a general acceptance of all others was always a good thing. You could never go wrong with being okay with certain types of music.
Pulling up his guitar, he placed the strap over his shoulder and strum a chord. "Are you going to play anything?" he asked. He would have been happy to listen for a while, or play something himself or even try to accompany what ever song she decided to play. It was all just for something to do.
|
|
