A quiet place[[Hope]]

[xxtaintedxx]

Kobby was freakin’ nervous. As he walked through his dorm as he got ready his heart pounded. He shuffled through his side of the closet, looking for a shirt. He didn’t even know why he was bothering with this. After he found out what Hope had done, Kobby had been pissed. He had thought that Hope wanted to be with him, and he had even went out on a limb and asked her out. They hadn’t gotten around to going out yet, but Kobby had been busy. And Hope just ran off with some other guy, and Jeff for crying out loud?? Jesus, that was embarrassing. To be ditched for Jeff, the kid was gay.

He shook his head, trying not to get all worked up again as he buttoned up his shirt. He hoped that this wouldn’t be a waste of his time, and then after thinking that he felt like a jerk. By at the same time, didn’t he sorta have a right to be pissed off? Kobby didn’t normally go out on a limb like that with a girl. Normally he would wait a while, but he liked Hope and thought that she had felt the same way about him.

Sighing to himself, he brushed his teeth before heading out of his dorm to the spot they had agreed on to meet. They had talked a little bit about where they should meet, and Kobby had wanted to meet indoors so that he could focus. If he were outside, he would want to walk and that didn’t make for a good conversation. He needed to talk to her without anyone else around. So he figured that the library was a good bet.

[victoria hope jean]

Looking at the digital clock in her room, she let out a sigh. She was supposed to be meeting Kobby soon. She was really nervous to do so. She didn't know what to expect; she didn't want to be yelled at by him. She knew that what she had done was wrong. She shouldn't have kissed Jeff back, but she did. And now she had to pay for it. She knew that, without a doubt, she wanted to be with Kobby. So that's why she didn't understand why she did it. She just got caught up in the moment. And that wasn't like her, so she hated herself for it. Whatever happened, she deserved it.

Hope got off of her bed and grabbed her clothes. She pulled on the dress that she was wearing, thinking back on when she told Kobby what she'd done. She couldn't believe Rudy made her tell over chat, of all things. That just seemed cowardly to her. She would have liked to hear it from the person's face, or atleast on the phone. She really wished that she had a time machine, so that she could take it all back. But she couldn't. She shook her head and finished getting dressed. She ran a hand through her curly hair before looking at herself in a mirror. She grabbed her bag before walking out of her dorm.

She finally made it to the library, but didn't walk in at first. She needed to get rid of her nerves before she went in. She took in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. It helped a little bit. She bit her bottom lip and walked into the library. She looked around for a moment, before she saw the familiar face of Kobby. She gave him a small smile before walking over to him, "Um.. Hey," She said, quietly.

notes: sorry, it's not too good.
outfit: click!

[xxtaintedxx]

Kobby was sitting at a table off to the side of the enterance. he wanted to make sure that Hope would see him, but at the same time wanted to make sure that no one else would over hear them, so he ended up sitting there hoping that it would be okay for both of his needs. He was pretty sure she wouldn't miss him sitting there, afterall she had really wanted to talk. Kobby wanted to talk to, but she suggested the sooner the better. He grinned lightly to himself as he thought about that. Maybe she was worth it, but at the moment he was too pissed off to really care about that.

He heard a small voice and turned towards it. Lost in his thoughts, he had missed her coming in and was caught off guard. He probably should have readied himself for her to be there, but he hadn't thought about that too much. He was more focused on what had happened more then anything. Honestly, Kobby didn't know what he wanted to say to her!

"Hey.." Was what he had come up with, and it was a little lame. Kobby usually had something better to say to someone, especially a girl but he guessed he was allowed to be off his game a little bit.

"Would you like to sit Hope?" he asked in a quiet tone.

[victoria hope jean]

Well, now it was too late for her to run back up into her room and hide for the rest of her life. She knew that she wanted to talk to him, and she was the one that said the sooner, the better. She didn't want him to stay mad at her forever, even though she did deserve it. It's better for them to talk about what happened, even if it would get Kobby mad. She needed to apologize to him, face to face. She needed to convince him that it didn't mean anything to her; because it didn't. It was a big mistake, and she knew it. She could honestly say that she didn't know why she did it. It was a stupid decision.

Hope felt like she was on deathrow right now, that's how bad she felt about all of this. She was so scared that Kobby was just going to go off on her and start screaming and yelling. Which she knew that she deserved, but still, she always hated things like that. She couldn't stand it when people would start yelling. She, yet again, bit her bottom lip and nodded her head, sitting down in the chair opposite Kobby. She sat in silence for a few moments. She didn't even know where to start with the talking. Should she let him talk first, or should she just start explaining herself? She had never been in a situation like this, so she didn't know what to do.

"So, umm.." Yeah, there was a start. Not.

[xxtaintedxx]

"Well Hope, I don't know what you want me to say so I'm going to let you talk until I figure it out.." He looked at her, and honestly was having a hard time staying mad at her but what she had done was crap and he had a right to be mad. If she didn't want to be with him, that was fine but the girl didn't have to play with Kobby's feelings. Yeah, he was big in stature, but Kobby didn't have enough experience with this sort of thing to know how to deal with it. He was hurt, and he wanted Hope to hurt like he did. He knew that was wrong though, and he felt bad for thinking it...

"I just wanna know why you did what you did. If you care about me so much, you sure have a crap way of showing it" Kobby rested his head on his hands for a moment as he took in a breath.


NOTE: sorry it's kinda short..

[victoria hope jean]

Hope looked up at Kobby with guilt in her eyes. She really wanted to know what he was thinking, it would make it so much easier on her. She knew that he was mad, obviously. He had the right to be. He felt like she played with his feelings, but she didn't mean to. Her feelings for Jeffy didn't even measure up to her feelings for Kobby. And she'd tell him that in a heartbeat. If it meant not talking to Jeffree ever again, just to get Kobby's forgiveness, then she would do it. She shook her head of the thoughts and bit her bottom lip before beginning to talk, "I don't even know where to start..." She needed to get her thoughts together, and form them into words that she could speak, before she started talking.

She'd seriously rather be on deathrow right now, besides sitting here, talking to Kobby about this. But she knew that she had to do it. When he said what he did, she let out a breath. She waited for a moment, before responding to him, gathering her thoughts, "I don't know why I did it, Kobby. I really wasn't thinking when it happened. I didn't mean for it to even happen. I.. I deserve any kind of yelling, or cussing, you want to do right now," she let out, quietly. She was looking down at her hands, which were in her lap, the whole time she said that. Then, she looked up at him, a frown on her lips, "I wasn't trying to play with you Kobby, I promise. I do care about you, I just wasn't thinking."

Hope had to stop talking for a moment. Her thoughts were all over the place, and she didn't know what else to say. Well, she did, but she couldn't put them into words. That's why she sucked at this type of thing, her mind would go in a whirl, "I can't really say what happened that day, because I don't know. I don't know why I did it, but I do know that after it happened, I felt like shit. I went home and cried, because I felt so bad. I never meant to hurt you, Kobby."

notes: haha, it's okay. I just kind of rambled on this post.

[xxtaintedxx]

"Hope you don't understand. If this how you treat the people that you care about, how am I suppose to know that you wont do the same thing if I date you?" Kobby asked her, and moved his hands around as he talked. It was something he did when he got nervous, Kobby wasn't sure why. he sighed though, and rubbed his forehead. How could he trust her after this?

"I haven't ever had someone to care about me Hope, and if this is what it feels like that I would rather not have anyone care about me" He raised an eyebrow at her, wating for her to say something. It was true, and the first time he opened himself up to a girl this happened to him. Yes, Kobby was a flirt and yes, kobby could easily talk to people but never had it let on about how he really felt for someone.

"Jesus Hope, and Jeff of all people? Seriously? the guy is a freak show, and you picked him over me?" Alright, maybe Kobby was being full of himself, but he was almost positive that he was a better catch them Jeff. The guy liked guys after all.

[victoria hope jean]

"This isn't how I treat the people I care about," Hope mumbled, looking back down at her hands, "It isn't like me to do something like that, that's why I don't know what to say." Never once had she ever done something like that. She isn't the type of girl that kisses any guy that shows her affection. She was always the quiet one, the one that was too afraid to go over and say hi to the guy she liked. Ugh, what what this school doing to her?

She closed her eyes and fell back into her chair. She didn't know what to do from here. She knew that she cared about Kobby, but how could she tell him how much she cared about him when she did something like that to him? She felt like shit, and she should. She deserved it, "I'm so sorry," She whispered. There was really nothing else that she knew what to say. She felt like a whore, she was really beginning that Alex was right all along about it. She really just wanted to cry, and she could feel the tears begin to form, but she didn't let Kobby see it.

Hope opened her eyes, and blinked the tears away, before looking up at Kobby, "I didn't pick him over you. There is no way I'd pick anyone over you, Kobby," she said, in a serious tone. Jeff meant nothing to her, maybe a friend, but nothing more. Hell she didn't even know if she wanted to be his friend at this point.

[xxtaintedxx]

"People change Hope, and your not an exception to the rule" He shrugged, and laid his hand out on the table as he watched her. He wanted her to feel how he felt, and that wasn't something Kobby felt. He wasn't that person, but this was crap. She was trying to justify what she had done, and Kobby wasn't going to just forgive her for it. She could do it all over again if he let her.

"I can't trust you Hope, you've shown me that. And if this isn't how you treat the people you care about then you must not really care about me because this is how you've treated me. And I was kind to you. Gentle even, and I don't have to be that way" He shook his head.

"I'm aware of myself, and I know that I could probably have any girl I want. But thats not the guy I am Hope and I thought that you were different..." She could say sorry all that she wanted, but it wasn't enough. Hope would have to show Kobby that she was sorry and as kind as he was, he could hold a grudge for a long time. It was built into him, something he had to be abel to do when he was on the streets.

"And you did pick him over me because it was him that you were with instead of me. When I was more then ready to be with you. And the guy sounds like a complete tool Hope, just throwing himself on you like that.." He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking.

"Is that how you want to be treated?"

[victoria hope jean]

"I'm pretty sure I'd know if I've changed any, Kobby," She said in a blunt tone. The only way she'd changed was her depression, it had been getting a little better. She'd been smiling more and interacting with people more. She loved it. But then all this shit happened, and it was like she was back as square one, which is where she didn't want to be. She had done too many bad things when she was in this condition,

Hope couldn't help it anymore, she let one lone tear fall down her cheek for a second before angrily wiping it away. She had been getting upset so easily again, which is how she knew that she was right back to where she'd started. She hated it, she hated getting upset so easily about things, "Kobby.." She whispered out, losing any words that she was going to say to him at that moment. She didn't know what to say anymore. This was too much for her to handle, and she was feeling like complete shit. Which is probably how she should feel.

"I-I am different," She whispered out. It was hard for her to talk, a lump forming in her throat from holding back tears. She swallowed the lump and looked back down at her lap. She let a couple more tears fall onto her cheeks, but she was looking down she Kobby more than likely couldn't see them. She didn't want to lose Kobby because of a stupid mistake that she'd made. She don't know what came over her at all, and now she was paying for it.

"I know.. I know," She whispered the last 'I know,' lifting her head to look at Kobby. She shook her head at him for the answer of his next question, "Not at all, Kobby.." That's all that she could say. She was out of words. She didn't know what to say, which just made her angry and even more upset.

[xxtaintedxx]

“As far as I can tell Hope, your not the girl that I had such a good time with just walking. From what I can see, you lied to me. If you didn’t wanna be with me, you could have just said so. I would have been disappointed yeah, but that’s sure as hell better then I’m feeling now” He sighed, and leaned back in his chair watching her. She did seem to really be sorry, but a lot of people say sorry and don’t mean it. He wanted her to prove to him that she was really sorry.

Hope was talking, but she wasn’t saying anything. She’s saying she’s different, but has showed him otherwise. She said she was sorry already, but keeps mumbling it to him. Kobby didn’t understand her, or what she was thinking. He didn’t want to understand, he just wanted this whole thing to be done. He had a headache and really didn’t have the patience for things like this. He had tried his best to show her that he cared about her, and she had only shoved it back in his face.

“Explain it to me Hope, because I’m not understanding…”

[victoria hope jean]

Hope let out a sigh. This was more difficult than she thought it would be. She should have known that he wasn't going to forgive her on the spot, but she thought that she would atleast know what to say. She was speechless, mainly because everything that Kobby's words were taking the words right out of her mouth. He was making so much sense to her, and she was making none. She was probably just repeating herself over and over again. That's really all that she could do. She couldn't explain herself, because there was nothing to explain. She and Jeffree kissed, end of story.

"I don't know how to explain any of this," She said, biting her bottom lip. What was she supposed to explain? She was being stupid at the time that she kissed Jeff, she wasn't thinking. She could say all of that again, but it wouldn't really mean anything to Kobby, "There is nothing to explain. I made a mistake, that's all I can say. I can sit here and tell you that I'm sorry, or I can tell you that it didn't mean anything over and over again. That's really all that I can say, but it wouldn't mean much.." She didn't understand it herself; what she was supposed to say in a situation like this.

[xxtaintedxx]

"Well that isn't good enough Hope" Kobby made a move to get up. Yeah, he was being jerk but he didn't care. And how could she just sit there and act like she did nothing wrong? That was the part that really pissed him off. That she just wanted forgiveness from him to just be given to her. It wasn't how it worked, Kobby wasn't that person. He gave it trust out willingly the first time, but then after that people had to earn it. He wasn't keen on getting hurt and Hope had messed up to bad for him to just sleep his anger off.

After he stood up, and reached down to pick up his bag. "When you've decided what you want, you can come and find me"

[victoria hope jean]

Hope was angry now, although she had no reason to be. It was her fault that Kobby was mad at her, she deserved how he was acting. She was, however, a very stubborn girl and when she wanted something, she wouldn't stop until she got it. She wanted Kobby to forgive her, she wanted everything to go back to normal, and she was determined to make that happen. Somehow, someway.

"You know what? Fuck this," She said, standing up as well. She looked over at Kobby for a moment before shaking her head and looked down at the floor. She knew what she wanted; She wanted him. She didn't have a doubt in her mind about it. She felt something for Kobby, she knew that. She wanted to act on it, but when he was pissed off at her, and now she was pissed at him (for no reason, what a bitch, right?). "I know what I want, Kobby. I want you, and when you're ready for this-" she gestured to the two of them,"- you can find me." She gave him a small, sad smile before looking down at the ground and heading towards the exit.

notes: end?