Old habbits die hard (OPEN)

[kaija]

This is the hardest part
- - - when you feel like you're fading - - -
All that you have has become unreal

collapsing, and aching
- - - All I want, all I want is right here - - -
but love don't live here anymore

I awoke in a cold sweat the dream vividly still in my mind. It was of Salli, the day she had died. I didn't know why i was dreaming of this now. Either way it gave me the same heart ache i always got when i thought of her. I sat up silently, and looked at my clock. 4:30am. What day was it? All i remembered was crashing on my bed when the Jet lag hit. IO felt starved, and the thoughts of Salli rang in my head . I stood up looking from my roommate to the door. I silently tiptoed over, and opened the door. Slipping through it and shutting it behind me.I had to find the kitchen, it had to be somewhere. 'Think...come on..where was it.' I racked my brain, thinking about the tour i had gotten. When finally i remembered.

I walked slowly yet in a hurry hoping i wouldn't get caught. I made my way to the kitchen without getting caught. I studied the room for a moment then rushed over and opened the fridge. I opened the freezer, i rummaged through the cabinets. I ate everything i could, anything that was edible, stuffing my face like a madwomen. The memories of Salli pushing me to eat more. 'Once you eat enough you'll feel better.' the small voice told me, like every other time. Food was scattered on the counter it didn't matter if it tasted good or not, just as long as it filled me up. I ate until i was sicker feeling than hell. I started to search for a bucket. T

he closest thing i could find was a mop bucket. "Works for me." i mumbled to myself. I bent over putting my face in the bucket. I shoved my finger down my throat, making me gag, and eventually vomit. I wretched everything i ate, my eyes tearing up as i did so. Every bit of food i had ate coming back up. I wretched a final time, and coughed. The taste in my mouth made me want to vomit again, but i couldn't. I was all puked out. I spit in the bucket, and stood. After rinsing my mouth a few times i started to clean.

I put everything away, threw away everything that was done for. I cleaned every bit until it looked like i hadn't been there. I wiped my forehead, and looked over my work proudly. It was nearly 5:30 when i arrived back in my dorm. I was glad i left when i did, not knowing when people arrived in the kitchen. I sighed and went to my suitcase. I looked through and picked out a simple outfit for the day. After that i brushed my teeth, i did so at least three times. I finished by rinsing with mouth wash. I took a shower after that, i sat in the plummeting hot water for god knows how many minutes before i stated to wash. I scrubbed hard at my skin getting the gross sweat feeling out of my system.. I left the shower smelling softly of hazelnut. I dressed for the day, and brushed my teeth for the fourth time. Just to be sure.

It was 6:30 by the time i had i had finished getting ready, my roommate had already gone. While most people would be eating breakfast in the dinning hall, (or whatever they called it here) i decided to go wondering. I looked around for awhile until i came to the Commons area. I sighed, it was quite full for it only being 9:00. I looked at a calendar and was surprised, i had gotten here almost three days ago. And i had been asleep for most of that time. I looked around at everyone in the room, i hadn't any idea where to sit, so i made my way to a few empty seats. It was weird..only two days ago i had been puking and dealing with my bad habits in Finland. Now I'd start here.. Same routine all over again. I smiled happily, i was going to like it here. It didn't seem..all that bad.

love is dead, love is gone
love don't live here anymore

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tagged;OPEN
word count;716
notes; Heh..sorry...i had A LOT of muse xD
oufit; Clicky!
listening to; Kerli - Love Is Dead

[xxtaintedxx]

So far, today had been a pretty good day for Kobby. he had gotten up early to work out and was just finishing up his morning laps when he got a grumble in his stomach. He sighed to himself gently, as he lifted himself up from the pool because honestly, he really hated the thought of leaving. He loved the pool, and as soon as his body was out of the water he felt the longing to go back in. It was really all he had left of his old self, besides Gavin but who even knew about that kid. Really, he wasn't even related to him and the longer he was here the less and less Kobby saw his little brother.

He sighed to himself as he walked away from the pool and snatched his gym bag off of the table and headed to the locker room. It was pretty normal in any comparison as far as he could see. It was cut into sections, splitting space between lockers, stalls, urinals and showers. He got dressed and his stomach grumbled again.

That was the thing about being physically active. Kobby eat often, and alot when he did. But that was alright with him, he knew that he was no where near over weight. He was well fit, and took pride in his body. Kobby worked hard to keep in shape because he liked to exercise. It made him feel good and focused which was something that was hard to him with his disorder.

After Kobby got dressed he headed to eat breakfast. He sat by himself, because he didn't want to talk as he eat. Personally, he just wanted to eat and head back to his room so that was what he did. He quickly scarfed down a rather selfish portion of scrambled eggs, toast and strawberries.

Heading back to his room, he passed through the common room and from the corner of his eye he spotted a girl sitting by herself. Someone who he hadn't seen before. It was a little bit normal he guess, if she were knew and that made him curious so has he grinned he headed towards her.

"Sup..?" He asked, a raised eyebrow.