i could use somebody, -rudolph

[victoria hope jean]

Hope was having a nightmare. She was back in Texas, and she was at that party again. Only this time it was different, she knew what was about to happen. But it was different, why would her subconcious mind change something so tragic? When she went to go to the bathroom, Alex had just grabbed her and did what he done that night. Now, most would think that her brother would stop his best friend from beginning to rape her, but no. In her nightmare, he was yelling at him to go for it. She jerked awake, just before she was actually without clothes in her nightmare. Her body was shaking and she could feel tears starting to form, but she stopped herself. She looked around at where she was. She didn't recall falling asleep in the commons, but it didn't really matter to her right now.

She jumped up from the sofa and grabbed her things, before nearly running out of the commons. Where she was going, she didn't know. But she knew that she had to get that nightmare out of her head. She bumped into a couple of people on the way, and each time that she did, she would mumble an apology and keep moving. It didn't take long for her to find out where her destination was. She found herself on the roof top. She had never been up ther ebefore, so she didn't know what had brought her up here. Her brown eyes looke around for a moment, taking in what was around her. Then, she knew why she had come up here. It looked like a nice place to relax and just forget about things. She walked over to the ledge and sat down, letting her feet dangle over. She didn't really care if she got caught right now.

Hope's eyes wandered down below, watching all the people that passed by. She saw some kids alone, much like how she liked to be most of the time, and then she also saw some people in a group. Her eyes focused in on one group, and a frown formed on her lips. They had pot, when the shouldn't have. She knew that it went on in the school, but she was hoping that she didn't have to see it. She looked away and tried to think of something else. She thought about how bad it was for her to be sitting on the ledge of the rooftop. Especially in the condition that she was in, she did have the urge to jump, but she didn't. She was here to get better. But she thought about it; besides, it wasn't like anyone would miss her. Her mother sent her here to get her out of her hair, her dad is constantly at work, which she was pretty sure that was a lie half the time; she knew that he was probably having an affair. Her own brother hated her and taunted her any chance that he got, along with her friends. No one would miss her, at all.

She shook her head of the thought. She shouldn't be thinking like that, it was a beautiful night. She needed to be happy, but that was nearly impossible for her to do. The only time that she had been remotely happy when she was here, was when she was talking to her friend that one day. That boy sure was sweet. A soft smile came to her lips, thinking about that day. If everyday could be like that, then she would be happy for the rest of her life. She didn't have a care in the world that day. Hope let out a sigh and looked back down, watching people again. It was giving her something to do, something else to think about.

^{STARRING : HOPE & RUDOLPH
WORDS : 649
STATUS : FINISHED
OUTFIT : click!
NOTES : eh, it's alright. (:
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : WHATCHULISTENINGTO?
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[rudolphpan]

the day had gone by quicker than rudolph had expected. rudolph hated-- hated -- the process of unpacking. finding a place to put everything, and then putting whatever belonged in that place there, and then checking every single bag to see if there was any of that item left, and then repeating about eighteen or twenty times. it was torture. well, at least rudolph's room looked like a place someone actually lived in now, despite his cleanliness. you know how those show apartments look, like nobody has ever been there but still lives there? that's how rudolph dorm looked. and after hours of unpacking and finding a place for everything, he had finished and decided to go for an afternoon walk to reward himself. somehow, he ended up lost. it would be pretty hard to get lost, but maybe rudolph was trying to get lost. he had just succumbed to his addiction again only about a day ago. how did he even let that happen? he felt like a complete douchebag loser. what kind of guy knows a girl for an hour and then decides to have her "assist him in unpacking"? rudolph sighed. thinking about this wasn't going to enrich his situation any more. maybe it'd just be better to go back to his room and call a friend. rudolph started heading back, and then realized he had no idea how to get back from where he was. and he wasn't about to ask anyone either.

a little exploration never hurt anyone, right? except for those people that died trying to go west, they got hurt. but rudolph wasn't going west. he was actually going in the wrong direction completely. he opened up any door that was open, and walked right on in. and finally, rudolph found a door that looked like the dorm rooms. so he went up, and up, and up, and up some more until he pushed the door of the strange building open and felt the chill of cold air surrounding him. "well this isn't my dorm," he said out loud, nearly laughing. somehow, rudolph had made it on the roof. the floor of it was concrete, and he took a few stomps on it to see if he could hear an echo. nope, nothing. he smiled. "i bet nobody's ever been up here before. i'm the first person,

[/i]" rudolph thought optimistically. if he was the only person, this could be his place. the place nobody knew about because they weren't curious enough to ask. it would be pretty cool, having a place of your own like that. and made rudolph feel like a kid. when he was small, his parents had built him a tree fort with a special key so only he could get in. rudolph spent his days up there, and some nights too. he'd watch friends and neighbors come by to ask, "can rudy come over and play with us?" and his parents would say, "no, he's not here right now." rudolph was a happy eleven year old. that was the only year of his life that had been-- good. the year after that, things did get pretty bad.

rudolph shook his head, taking his mind out of that memory, and re-adverting his focus back to the roof. what was there to do on a roo-- "shit shit shit.[/i]" there was a girl, sitting on the ledge. rudolph didn't know how high up they were, he hadn't bothered counting the flights of steps he went up. but he did know that they were up pretty high and a fall like that could really hurt someone. rudolph remembered an espn special about a kid that jumped out his window from twenty stories and survived. he was paralyzed from the waist down and had a scar on the back of his head where he must have made some kind of impact. it was awful, watching that story. rudolph swallowed his initial thought, but it came back anyway. "is she trying to kill herself?[/i]" oh, why did that story on espn have to come on the week before he was being sent to hawthorne. it had only just made him more paranoid of what the kids there were doing, especially her. how was he even going to talk to her if she was? would telling her not to jump be enough to save someone's life? rudolph doubted it. if someone had told rudolph not to jump because he'd be alive, he'd probably just flip whoever off and jump right then and there. well, he probably wouldn't, but it made him feel braver thinking of it that way. rudolph looked at the back of the girl's head, trying to figure out if he had seen her before. "that's the girl that bumped into me,[/i]" he remembered, picturing the flurried look on her face as she muttered a small, "sorry," and kept hald running to wherever she was going. rudolph walked up to the girl and stood about five or six feet behind her. "whatchadoin?" atta boy.

outfit.
@ krista with hope
eight hundred forty one words
sorry for taking so long! D:[/size][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[victoria hope jean]

People watching could seem something like creepy, and she was pretty sure that it was, but she didn't care. It's not like she was going to jump down there and kill them, she wasn't a psychopath. She was just interested in what the others were doing and how they acted. You could tell a lot just by the way that someone walked, if you just paid attention. She watched one person, and smiled slightly. They were enjoying their life, and were in no hurry to do anything about it. That's actually how a lot of people were around here. Well, atleast that's what they said. Sometimes, they just said it so that someone would shut up and get off their back.

Hope enjoyed her life, most of the time that she was alive. She loved her family, and had a lot of friends that acted like they cared about her back then. Up until the party, and Alex turned everyone against her. She tried not to dwell on it, but she couldn't help it. It was crazy how one stupid, drug obsessed kid could ruin her life. She knew that she could be overly dramatic about how her life was going, but she felt that she wasn't. She thought that how she thought about the whole situation was exactly how it should be thought of. Well, maybe not the whole 'giving up her own life' part. A lot of people wouldn't think that way; they just thought that she was some stupid girl for thinking that way. But in her head she just thought: 'What is there to live for, now?' Because, at the time, there was nothing. Everyone hated her.

She heard a voice behind her, and she turned around slowly to see who it was. She couldn't really recall the person, and she searched her brain. Oh, she bumped into him on the way up here. She felt bad for that, but she said an apology right after she did it, so it didn't faze her anymore. That was a random question to ask someone, right out of the blue. She would have atleast introduced herself first, or maybe just a 'hey, what are you doing?' Or something along those lines. Then, she thought about it. It probably looked like she was about ready to jump; and she wasn't going to lie, she did think about it. But she didn't act on it, because she wanted to change her ways.

Finally, Hope replied to the boy, in a quiet tone, "I'm people watching," she said, with a light smile on her lips. She surely hoped that the boy didn't think she was about to jump, because, for one, she wouldn't do it if anyone was around, and two, she wouldn't have wanted to be found in the morning. She didn't want to scar people with her mangled body, if she had ever done that. She shook herself from those thoughts, and looked back up at the boy, "What brings you up here?" She asked, curiously.

^{STARRING : HOPE & RUDOLPH
WORDS : 528
STATUS : FINISHED
OUTFIT : click!
NOTES : geez, you with the 800 words! and it's fine.(: i got off, soon after i posted this.
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : WHATCHULISTENINGTO?
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[rudolphpan]

the girl was quiet and solemn looking. when rudolph got a look at her face when she turned to say, "i'm people watching," he realized how pretty she was. she was a softer, younger kind of pretty. why was she here? usually, someone that looked like her would be out enjoying themselves, having a good old time. but instead, she was here. she was here, sitting and almost sulking in the darkness. "oh," was all rudolph could even think to mutter. he felt sorry for her. was she one of those suicidal people that went to the school? she sure looked like it, sitting there all sad. if rudolph would have known her better, he would have said something re-assuring. but he didn't know her better, and honestly was a little bit afraid of getting to know her better. she gave off this vibe that said something rudolph couldn't identify, but it frightened him. he'd never been around anyone that was depressed enough to people watch from a rooftop.

"what brings you up here?" the dark haired girl asked him. rudolph decided to sit with her, he was quiet and at about a two foot distance. "i got lost, actually. i'm new," rudolph said, nearly chuckling at his stupid mistake that may not have been so stupid in the first place. he looked at his feet dangling from the building. shit, was that one hell of a feeling. his palms felt funny, like he was about to fall. rudolph quickly brought his feet back up. how was she just sitting there? didn't that feel strange to her at all? didn't that make her feel like she was going to fall and go splat, right there on the concrete? rudolph didn't really understand the girls at hawthorne, it was pretty weird. they sat in silence for a moment, looking down at the kids below having fun and whatever. rudolph imagined leaving right then and there to go join them, but he didn't even know those kids so it'd be awkward and rude as shit to this girl. she looked like she needed someone to, you know, care? rudolph glanced at her and flashed her a friendly smile. he would have waved, but no. "i'm rudolph," he said, keeping the friendly, welcoming grin.

outfit.
@ krista with hope
four hundred words
it's so short! and yeah, that one big post sucked all my muse into a black hole. D:

[/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[victoria hope jean]

"And, that probably sounds really weird," Hope said, quietly, but with a small laugh. What kind of person spends their night, up on a rooftop, watching people down below? It seemed sad, in a way. But she had nothign better to do, or anything that she wanted to do, really. Usually, she'd be in her room, or out somewhere, playing her guitar. People would ask her why she didn't do something more fun, that she looked like the type that would be out, preferably at a party, having fun. Or a snobby, stuck up girl that only cared about herself and shopping. Well, she tried that once. But then that lifestyle ruined her whole being for her. She wasn't ever going to go back there again. Besides, she liked who she was now. Well, her personality. She was a sweet, caring girl. Most people liked her, so she was going to stay that way.

She looked over at the boy again and smiled warmly. She rememberd when she first came here, she couldn't even find her dorm, much less the rooftop. This was the first time that she had come up here, "I remember my first time arriving here, I couldn't even find my dorm," She said, laughing lightly afterwards. It sounded kind of silly, yes, but it was the truth. She finally had to ask a girl where her dorm room was, and that was embarrassing. Thankfully, the girl was nice and showed her the way. She was lost around the school for atleast 2 days, before she found her way around, "What do you think of Hawthorne so far?" She asked, looking out at the sky for a moment, before her brown eyes turning to look back over at the boy.

When Hope looked back over at him, she noticed him bring his feet back up from over the building, and she laughed a little, "Afraid that you're going to fall?" She asked him, a light gleam in her eye. She wasn't always as depressed as people made her out to be. Yeah, she was here for suicidal tendencies and depression, but she hardly ever acted like she was that way. That's why it surprised people when she told them why she was here. Then they would ask her what happened, and she would go silent. She hated talking about what happened to her. When the boy introduced himself as Rudolph, the warm smile that was once on her lips came back and stayed. She reached out a hand towards the boy for him to shake, "Well, hi Rudolph. I'm Hope, it's a pleasure to meet you," She said, politely, the warm smile staying in her lips.

^{STARRING : HOPE & RUDOLPH
WORDS : 473
STATUS : FINISHED
OUTFIT : click!
NOTES : your post was fine.(:
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : WHATCHULISTENINGTO?
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[rudolphpan]

"afraid you're going to fall?" the girl said, her eyes gleaming. rudolph gave her this look that was like, "no shit." and cracked a quick smile before looking back down on whoever was below. it was pretty cool up there, no doubt. looking down on people like, "look who's up here! me, not you. i'm king of the world." rudolph adored that feeling, even if it was a little conceited. so what, he liked feeling important? when you could look down on the world, like a god, it made you feel great. rudolph imagined doing that, only way higher up, wherever god was. that must have been incredible. like, seriously incredible. and then getting to control what other people did? well, that'd be too much pressure. but still, cool. the thought of it made rudolph beam and as he introduced himself, she returned the favor.

"well, hi rudolph. i'm hope, it's a pleasure to meet you," said hope. hope. hope? well gee, that was contradictory for someone sitting on a roof, looking so depressed that they could jump off. rudolph thought her name was going to be samantha or georgine or anything but hope. it was like, number eight thousand on his list of expectant names for this girl. not like rudolph's opinion mattered, anyway. he actually liked things that contradicted, so this name and this girl went together very well. at least to him, anyway. hope stuck out a hand for him to shake. that was kind of a formal meeting. rudolph normally waved at people unless he was somewhere important, in which shaking hands was the only option. but he guessed this was important too, seeing as her hand was out, waiting to be shook. rudolph reached out and shook at for a moment. this was only a little bit awkward for him. it could have been awkward for anybody though, so whatever. rudolph noticed the warm smile still staggering on is face had spread to hope's. why was he even still smiling?

rudolph let the smile fade away and thought of something to say. so far, it was pretty routine of him to ask people why they were there. it was a quick conversation starter for awkward people with nothing to talk about. rudolph went for it. "so, how come you're here?" he asked, trying not to sound as intrusive or weird as he had with marilyn. actually, their whole interaction was weird. rudolph nearly shuddered. how had he let himself do that? how stupid was he? here he was, at this place that was supposed to fix him, and he'd already gone deeper into his addiction. he'd wanted to say, "hawthorne is a joke" right then and there, just because he fucked up. literally. rudolph let out a sigh, deciding that he should confess to his retarded reason for being there first. just, yanno, since he brought it up. "i'm, uh, here for. uh. i'm here for my sex addiction?" it came out like a question, a really awkward question that rudolph wished he never would have said or brought up. "dammit dammit dammit dammit damn damn dammit.

[/i]" rudolph tried hard not to look like he regretted talking, but the half grimace on his face probably gave it away. way to fuck up a conversation, rudolph. atta boy.

outfit.
@ krista with hope
five hundred fifty two words
i told you my muse would return in the morning. c:[/size][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[victoria hope jean]

Hope looked back down at the people for a moment, before getting bored of doing so. You could only watch people for so long before you got bored of it. She tilted her head upward to the sky and looked at the stars for a moment. It was a beautiful sight, and it made her happy. Sometimes, she wished that she had a thing for photography, because she saw so many different, yet beautiful, things in the world that they lived in. It gave her hope for another day. She forgot all that had happened to her sometimes, if she just looked around at the beauty that the world had to offer. If more people could do that, then there probably wouldn't be as many depressed people. Sure, it only helped her for a little bit, but it still helped. Just like her music. She wasn't always upset, or depressed, like some of the people that were here for the same reason as her. She was different, very different from others, but that didn't matter to her. It shouldn't matter to anyone, but it did. And it does, and that's why it hurts so much sometimes.

She let out a breath and slid back from the edge of the rooftop, since she wasn't looking down anymore. Besides, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that was a terrible way to die. She wouldn't wish it on anyone. She looked over at Rudolph, and wondered what he must have been thinking about at that moment in time. Did he think of her to be weird or did he think that she was nice, so far? Well, to her, it seemed that it was too early for him to tell. But, like people said, it was all about the first impression. And when he came up here, she was sulking in the dark, watching other people have fun. That didn't seem like a very good impression, now did it? If it were her, she would have gotten out of there when she had the chance. Actually, that was a lie. She probably would have seen if something was upsetting the person and tried to cheer them up, seeing as that's how she was. She always gave other people a chance.

Ofcourse he would ask why she was here, every student here always did. They wanted to know how much of a fuck up someone really was. She'd met a lot of people here, and everytime that she did, they would ask that question. It didn't bother her as much as the first time she had been asked that question. She just hated answering it, afraid of what people might think of her when she answered. Besides, her problems did make her seem like she was fucked up, and she wasn't going to lie, she was, but she didn't want other people to think badly of her, or pity her, "I'm here for suicidal attempts and anorexia," She finally answered him, not really caring anymore. She was slowly getting better, well with the anorexia atleast. The depression was harder to get rid of than people thought.

When he told her what he was here for, she nodded her head and bit her bottom lip. So far, she hadn't had any good encounter with a sex addict. Ofcourse, Alex also had anger issues and he was a druggie, so she couldn't judge people just because of one person, "I've heard worse," She said, truthfully. There were some people here that were just complete sociopaths, so she didn't really think anything of it anymore. Or, she tried not too, atleast. To her, it seemed that talking about their problems, in a troubled teens facility seemed a bit cliche, but she didn't say anything about it. Maybe, he was just trying to get to know her better?

^{STARRING : HOPE & RUDOLPH
WORDS : 669
STATUS : FINISHED
OUTFIT : click!
NOTES : woo!
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : It's been a while - Staind
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[rudolphpan]

"i'm here for suicidal attempts and anorexia." that made rudolph's problems look like bullshit. why was he even here, with people whose issues were so. so severe? how was his issue even an issue. "i've heard worse." no kidding. rudolph was probably the most normal person in this place. he'd never tried to harm himself-- or anyone. everything had been con-sensual with him. it's not like he ever raped anyone. he was afraid of rapex or teeth or something. and jail. and guilt. jail obviously wasn't a place somebody would want to end up, especially for rape. because if you rape someone and land in jail, you are going to be raped in jail. by a bunch of fat, giant gay guys. rudolph shuddered. he hated it when his mind wandered like that. and onto such strange, strange things.

so rudolph knew that half of the people at hawthorne had problems worse than his. he glanced at hope, wondering what he should say next. it looked like she didn't want to talk about their problems, and he really didn't want to either. it was always really depressing, talking about problems. especially his own, or a nice girl like hope's. he wondered how she even came to be anorexic or suicidal. she seemed like a nice girl? whatever happened to her, she certainly didn't deserve it. unless she was some kind of secret anorexic killer, which would be weird. did anorexic killers even exist? rudolph doubted they did. how could someone so frail and skinny run from cop cars without being gunned down? rudolph wondered how anyone was able to do that. he would have laughed at his own thought, but that would have ruined the entire moment for himself and hope. for maybe the first time all day, it was quiet. it was quiet enough that rudolph could hear his own breath-- or was that hope's? probably his-- rudolph wasn't used to sitting on roofs and looking down like hope probably-- what an awful thought for someone to have.

it was dark outside. the only lights that rudolph could see were the school ones, and their luminescence was blocked by gnats that were attracted to it. rudolph wondered if there were any owls in maine. he'd always wanted to see one of those owls in harry potter, the one that died in the last movie. the white one. that owl was so beautiful and it was one of the few things rudolph had ever dreamed about being. as a kid, in his treehouse, rudolph would read harry potter books and draw dozens of shitty pictures of that little owl. rudolph had always wanted to fly-- oh shit. flying wasn't really the best thing to be thinking about on a roof, was it? no. it definitely wasn't. rudolph groaned a little bit and probably would have scooted further back if it weren't for his fear of looking like a total loser. what other people thought of him meant a lot to rudolph, and he didn't really like being a douchebag around them. well, at least girls anyway. "so," rudolph said, "are there owls out here?" atta boy?

outfit.
@ krista with hope
five hundred twenty six words
i had to put a rapex reference in there, i had to.

[/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[victoria hope jean]

This was the time that Hope wished she had some sort of magical power to where she could hear other people's thoughts. When it was quiet, and she was with someone, she always wondered what they were thinking about. She was a curious little girl, but she couldn't help it. She was tempted to ask him, but she chose against it. He probably already thinks her to be weird, she didn't need to give him a reason to second that opinion. When he shuddered, she was almost dying to know what he was thinking about. She hated being the curious one.

When Rudolph asked her if there are any owls around here, she shrugged her petite shoulders, "I'm not sure, I haven't been here long," she said, looking over at him, "I sure hope so! I love owls." She remembered when she still lived in Texas, she would hear owls at night. She always wanted to see one, they were so cute! Well, from the pictures she had seen anyway. The only thing creepy about them were they can turn their heads like crazy. Everytime she would see one do that in a movie, she would scream, making everyone laugh at her. She had always wanted to see one like the one that Harry Potter had, the snow white one. Hedwig, was it's name, if she recalled correctly. The feathers on it looked so soft, and the owl itself looked so pretty. She thought that, maybe, she was being silly about it all. But she didn't really care.

Hope didn't really like the silence anymore, especially when she was with someone that she had just met. She always felt obligated to get to know the person, or ask how their day went. Just something to make them feel like someone cared enough to ask about them. Sometimes, it didn't work, she would be blown off, but it worked a lot of the time. Especially when she wanted to make a new friend, "So, tell me a little about yourself, Rudolph," She said, smiling softly over at him for a moment before it disappeared again. She wanted to make sure he wasn't completely crazy, before she went and tried to make friends with him. She didn't get crazy vibe from him, but sometimes she was dead wrong.

^{STARRING : HOPE & RUDOLPH
WORDS : 404
STATUS : FINISHED
OUTFIT : click!
NOTES : t'is not that good. loved the rapex reference, by the way.(:
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : It's been a while - Staind
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[rudolphpan]

"I sure hope so! I love owls." rudolph laughed. at least they had something in common now, right? like if the conversation ever got awkward, they could go back to talking about owls. owls were pretty good conversation starters, weren't they? rudolph looked at hope and then realized how really cold it was up on that roof. what time was it, even? he had that chill that said it was kind of late and he hadn't ever even bothered to look at the clock before he left the room. he'd wanted to rip out a cell phone and check it, but wouldn't that be rude? imagine, in the middle of a conversation with a stranger, and they rip out a cell phone. rudolph hated people that did that kind of shit. if you were going to talk to him, talk to him. not your great aunt lisa or your ex boyfriend. talk to rudolph, talk to rudolph, talk to fucking rudolph because he is right there trying to talk to you but you're too interested in your cell phone to honestly give a shit. ugh, rudolph hated people like that.

"so, tell me a little about yourself, rudolph," hope asked. rudolph's eyes widened. "what?" he thought, confused. nobody had ever asked rudolph to tell them a little bit about himself. that stressed him out. usually, rudolph would have to write about these kinds of things at school, about himself. he'd stay up for hours, fucking trying to come up with anything interesting enough about himself to put down on paper and read in front of the class. he'd actually end up stealing some "deep", cheap quote from the internet and writing it down. then, he'd go up, read that one sentence, and sit back down. surprisingly, that routine always seemed to get him an a. teachers would comment on his paper to stay closer to the requested word count, but it was surely a describable "essay". rudolph had been milking that kind of grading since the sixth grade, when he was actually smart enough to come up with it.

now, rudolph really wished he was able to look on his cell phone. it was always uncomfortable talking about himself without a fucking quote. there was nothing really to talk about, rudolph assumed he was a pretty boring person. scratch that-- no he didn't. rudolph knew he was pretty amazing. he got along well with most people, if they weren't obnoxious and always talking about themselves. he wanted to just shove an inside out rapex into people like that. rudolph sure hoped hope wasn't that kind of person because she didn't seem like she was. it'd probably actually be pretty hard to be obnoxious and constantly bragging about yourself if you were suicidal and anorexic. that thought had made him wander about how she got to be here again, but he quickly got rid of that thought. gosh, rudolph hated talking about himself. it seemed conceited, weird. why did she even have to go and ask a question like that. rudolph wished they would have kept talking about owls, owls were so much more conversation-friendly. rudolph pictured owlologists sitting in a laboratory filled with owls, randomly discussing things about them. he chuckled slightly, forgetting about the question for a split second and then worrying about it again. "i don't really know how to talk about myself," rudolph started. "and whenever i do i feel like a conceited piece of shit so, yeah. really, you've never seen an owl?" atta boy.

outfit.
@ krista with hope
five hundred eighty nine words
c:

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[victoria hope jean]

Hope couldn't help but laugh a little bit when he said he didn't like talking about himself. She didn't mind talking about herself, to a certain. If someone asked about her, she wasn't just going to change the subject. Well, no, that was a lie. She probably would. She also hated talking about herself, unless it was about her music, then she could talk to you about that for hours on end. She loved music; it was her passion. It's what kept her sane. If she didn't play her guitar, or a piano, every once in a while, then she would probably be in isolation for some time. And that, my friends, was not fun from what she has heard. She would go even more insane if she were in isolation.

"Why would you feel conceited if someone asked?" she asked, laughing a little bit. But she dropped it. She wasn't going to push him to talk about himself if he didn't want to, she could just find out about him the hard way: by spending time with him. Yeah, we all know how horrible that can be. Just kidding, but really. Hanging out with someone could show alot of things about someone. That's why you shouldn't judge someone the first time you see them.

She smiled and shook her head when he started talking about owls again. Yeah, she would love to see an owl one day. They seemed so mysterious, and cute. Ofcourse, she thought most animals to be cute. She thought so highly of the world, just not the people in it. Sometimes the people in the world drove her insane. She just wanted them to see the way that she did. To see the potiential in the world. Ofcourse, no one ever would. It wasn't like she had some sort of amazing powers to control peoples thoughts. If she did, she would be so happy.

"I've really never seen an owl.. Unless seeing them in a movie counts?" She said, smiling slightly. "I wanna see an owl that looks like Hedwig, from Harry Potter. He looks so sweet," Though, she doubted that an owl was really as sweet as she thought them to be. They probably bit someone the first chance that they got, "Or Ron's owl, the one that crashes into everything," She said, laughing a little bit. That owl was funny.

^{STARRING : HOPE & RUDOLPH
WORDS : 418
STATUS : FINISHED
OUTFIT : click!
NOTES : it's not that good. lol.
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : It's been a while - Staind
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[rudolphpan]

"why would you feel conceited if somebody asked?" hope asked. why did she even want to know so badly? rudolph didn't really like people who dug. sometimes, it pissed him off. reminded him of his mom. she asked too many people too many questions and that's why rudolph was there. so recently, he hadn't really been enjoying talking to people about himself or knowing that people were talking about him. gossip-- it just wasn't cool. well actually, it was. rudolph liked being a tattletale. if he knew something about somebody, he was going to tell someone else. it was just the way things worked out with him. but if someone is talking about something he did, he'd deny it until they had proof. he'd actually try to prove he hadn't done it, like that one time he cheated on his ex with her friend and her friend told her. rudolph had tried to shrug it off, saying her friend was jealous, but his ex believed her and they broke up. it's not like rudolph really cared-- she was just a girl, after all.

after he'd spoken about the owls, hope decided that maybe a subject change would be better for this conversation. rudolph sighed softly; finally he could breathe. that was how much rudolph had hated talking about himself. it was really too soon. before he could even start going to hawthorne, his parents made him go to somebody to diagnose him with his addiction. they asked him so many questions-- it actually really pissed him off. when he told lowell about it, he hadn't really even cared. "you shouldn't have gotten caught," he said while rudolph was boarding the plane to take him to maine. lowell had been rudolph's best friend. he was fucking crazy, but they were still best friends. rudolph could have laughed at that thought, but instead decided to pick up where hope was talking. it would have been easier instead of explaining why he was laughing. rudolph figured hope was one of those questioning people-- but maybe not as bad as his mom.

"--looks like hedwig, from harry potter. he looks so sweet. or ron's owl, the one who's always crashing into everything." she laughed at the last part and rudolph chimed in, not really finding it all that funny but not really caring. it was late, he was starting to find himself in a bad mood. that was probably because of the fact that he had only gotten about six hours of sleep since jeff moved in with him. that snoring, tattooed bastard. he hadn't even once apologized for having conversations with hogs in the next county at three o' clock in the morning, and that was probably why rudolph couldn't stand him so much. rudolph wished he could buy jeff that strip someone puts over their nose to shut up the snoring, but he wouldn't use it. whatever, though. rudolph could always go to the gas station and get earplugs. yeah, that's what he'd do. he'd go to the gas station and get earplugs early the next morning. rudolph grinned; he'd only have one more sleepless night. "ron's owl is kind of retarded, tha goff," he said, laughing slightly. that had been an unbelievably lame joke, but he didn't even care. he was actually incredibly happy that he would be rid of the snoring. now, all he needed to do was get the person out of the room. or just like, pour lizard piss all over his stuff or something. that would be pretty hilarious. atta boy?

outfit.
@ krista with hope
five hundred ninety four words
it took a long time, fff-

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