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Post by kristakalon3 on Jun 11, 2011 21:05:56 GMT -5
blake wasn't confused, upset or even pissed, no he was more numb. he wanted to be angry, he wanted to be upset, hell he wanted to be pissed, he just couldn't muster all those feelings. now all he could think was that this couldn't of happened. not the day before he got out of isolation. he had been so happy, excited even to get the hell out of that crappy hell hole and see her. all he did was sneak in some drugs, for just a few people and next thing he knew, he was caught. and he got caught doing something alliya wanted him to do. then she went and screwed some other guy?
when he first found out, he pushed his computer away, punched his wall, he was angry, furious and he wished it was the guy's head. one of his roommates chase, had asked him what's up. he said nothing, and flung himself back on his bed, only reading the conversation, trying to calm down. finally the anger subsided and that was when he became numb. not caring about the little spouts of apology and the way she really seemed sorry. no, for him, he needed her in his face. her to man up and tell him the sorry's and the details, to his face. it was all he asked for, her to tell him things and not wait until after he finds out from other people. 'damn. i'm thinking it like she just held some other guys hand,' he thought to himself. trying to build up more fury, at least then he knew he cared. the numbness made him feel like he didn't care, and he knew he cared.
he loved alliya and he thought she loved him too, thought they were happy. then again, being locked in a room by yourself, slowly growing crazy and annoyed, you lose contact. maybe she felt like they were over? who knew how she thought it'd be smart to be with someone else, smart to let someone else take advantage of her. he just didn't get it. didn't get any of this. finally logging off, deciding that if she wanted to talk to him, she'd have to come to him. he turned off all electronics, he wouldn't answer a text or a phone call. not until she marched her little primped ass to his dorm and talked to him. he gave his roommate a warning that there might be some drama, and he said he'd go somewhere else. not asking the whys or whats, not even caring that cobi seemed to not be here all day. no, he kept the door unlocked and quietly lay on the bed, keeping his eyes glued on the roof, and let the numbness take over.
words: four hundred seventy-six
outfit: here
tags:eliza with alliya
notes: lalala he is like...screw this
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Post by alliya on Jun 11, 2011 21:40:23 GMT -5
  I'M THE NEW CANCER[/B][/size][/font][/size] •• N E V E R • L O O K E D • B E T T E R ••[/i] A N D Y O U C A N ' T S T A N D I T- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Alliya dragged her legs up to her chest. She was sitting in the common room and was worried about what Blake thought about her now. Aaron and James had told him what happened. She didn’t know what to do, but when she asked if he was pissed at her he didn’t see the same. Something seemed odd, and she didn’t want him to end it. She tried to get Ian to talk to her and keep her sane, but he wanted her to go work things out with Blake. Things weren’t going to go well.
She put her phone in her pocket, the chat still up on the mobile web browser, before letting a tear fall. She didn’t want to do this, but she knew that she’d have to. She stood up and made her way towards the dorm room that she use to spend all her time in. She knew that it would change now that this has happened. She wasn’t sure what the result of this would even be.
She knocked on his door lightly before opening it. ”Blake?” she said softly. She saw that he was laying down on his bed. Just great. She was tempted to turn around and just leave. Go into her own dorm room and curl up and cry. She didn’t want to deal with this. She could barely remember the night. All she knows is that she regrets it.
”I’m sorry” she whispered as she turned around towards the door. Just seeing him, made her feel worse. She didn’t mean to do anything. She just wanted to stop the withdrawals and it exploded from there. She didn’t want to die, and with what they had been telling her about the withdrawals scared her. She didn’t know what else to do, and she just decided to go get high, but only slightly. She barely took what she normally did.
[/b][/size][/font] 316 WORDS | COMPLETE | BLAKE | OUTFIT
LYRICS BY PANIC! AT THE DISCO | TEMPLATE BY ARRO
NOW GIVE THEM A NICE NOTE HERE!
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Post by kristakalon3 on Jun 11, 2011 22:17:22 GMT -5
blake moved his eyes away from the ceiling and towards the door as he heard a knock. already he knew who it was, she always knocked, doing the same routine. why would this time be any different, maybe he had hoped she'd run in and apologize. but instead she lingered there, and he watched her, waiting and waiting. finally he sat up and frowned, did she seriously not care anymore. did she want to make him suffer? was that her plan all along, hurt him and make him suffer. no, he knew it wasn't. he knew that deep down alliya was sweet and innocent and would never hurt him on purpose. it was why he wasn't as angry as he thought he'd be, cause it had to be a reason, an explanation.
but when her sorry came, his anger boiled up all over again. throwing himself off the bed he paced, paced and paced. trying to calm down before speaking, he didn't want to yell at her. still, even after all the pain she caused him, he didn't want to cause her any. she had been through too much in this place, and she didn't need anymore of that, not from him. he refused to be one of the people responsible for alliya's pain, even if she didn't think about his own pain.
finally stopping, he turned to her, "just tell me why you did it." his voice was no more the a soft spoken whisper, and he kept his eyes averted. her next words would control what he did next. if he would tell her to go away, or just hurt aaron. he had no clue, but what he did know, was that she was going to have to earn back his trust. he'd still love her, but she'd have to prove she loved him. they could work through it, and if they couldn't figure a way, then they'd have no choice then to go their seperate ways. he hoped that didn't happen
words: three hundred forty-eight
outfit: here
tags: eliza with alliya
notes:nothing
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Post by alliya on Jun 12, 2011 12:58:00 GMT -5
I'M THE NEW CANCER [/B][/size][/font][/size] •• N E V E R • L O O K E D • B E T T E R ••[/i] A N D Y O U C A N ' T S T A N D I T- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Alliya saw him sit up. She didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t good with these kinds of things. She never had Blake mad at her before either. She usually just stayed near him, and everything was fine. They had a nice relationship, but when he got sent to iso so was so worried. She didn’t see him for a few days, then just finally asked Cobi. He said that he was taken to iso and didn’t know when he would be back. She was doing so good with the heroin, trying to stop, stopped taking as much, and even tried going cold turkey but then the withdrawal set in. She freaked especially when James and Aaron told her that she could die from the symptoms and she caved. She shot up again, but barely what she usually did. Just enough to get rid of the withdrawals, but then alcohol was also factored in.
She heard him move when she turned and said sorry. She flinched. She didn’t know what he was going to do, but he hadn’t hurt her before. She heard him pacing and turned back to look at him. She looked down at the floor, his feet moving into her vision every now and then when he paced. As soon as his feet stopped moving and just turned towards her she shut her eyes. She didn’t want to deal with this. She wasn’t fully sure why she was there. She was scared completely.
When he asked her why she did it she tried to fully remember the night. She couldn’t. That was the problem. ”I don’t know. I can’t remember anything other than getting high and drunk. After that its all blurry” she whispered. Her gaze never left the ground. She moved back until her back hit the door and she slid down it. Her legs up against her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She leaned her head against her knees and sighed. She didn’t know what he was going to do, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it anyways.
[/b][/size][/font] 348 WORDS | COMPLETE | BLAKE | OUTFIT
LYRICS BY PANIC! AT THE DISCO | TEMPLATE BY ARRO
NOW GIVE THEM A NICE NOTE HERE!
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Post by kristakalon3 on Jun 12, 2011 16:19:10 GMT -5
blake didn't know how to deal with being mad at alliya, he never had anything to be mad at her about. he had been mad at other people because of her, but never at her. it was a horribly odd feeling, and one he didn't like at all. he just wished she hadn't done somethings stupid, hadn't gone and screwed some other guy. he had trusted her, and loved her, but here he was hurt thanks to her. that was all that passed through his head. he couldn't lose to feeling of betrayal and hurt. though watching her now, closing her eyes, whispering, that hurt him worse.
she seemed generally upset, really sorry, but no. he couldn't just forgive and forget, that was out of the question. "alliya," he whispered, rubbing his head slightly. god he had a headache, it hurt so much, but he had to tell her what he thought. "i'm hurt and upset that you would do something like that," he said after careful consideration of his words. he couldn't hurt her, and he wouldn't, but this had to be done. "i love you and i always will...but."
moving over and sitting next to her, he lifted her head up to him. he wanted her to look at him, see the pain that was so evident in his eyes and so she'd see he wasn't changing his mind. "i think i need time, but i'm willing if you are to try and fix this. but it's not going to be magical." dropping his hand, he leaned against the door and closed his eyes, "i just wish it didn't have to be like this alli. i really do."
words: two hundred ninety five
outfit:
tags: eliza with alliya
notes: lalala
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Post by alliya on Jun 12, 2011 17:30:29 GMT -5
I'M THE NEW CANCER [/B][/size][/font][/size] •• N E V E R • L O O K E D • B E T T E R ••[/i] A N D Y O U C A N ' T S T A N D I T- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -She heard him say her name and she shut her eyes again. She listened as he said that he was upset and hurt. When he said that ‘you would do something like that’ she let some tears fall. She hadn’t meant to. She didn’t even remember that night, let alone why she even did it. She had been raped by Monroe, and wouldn’t even have sex with the man she loved, why would she have sex with a completely random stranger? She knew that it had to be him getting her drunk and high, then pressuring her into it. Blake never did that.
She opened her eyes and looked down into her lap when he said that he loved her. At least he used the present tense and not past. She would have broken down even more if he had. When he sat down next to her she tensed. She didn’t want him to touch her. But that was broken when he lifted her chin in order for her to look at him. She saw how much she hurt him and she closed her eyes. She had tears down her cheek already and she didn’t know how to fully fix things.
When he said that he needed time to think she began crying fully. She didn’t want to take a break from him. She wanted to stay with him. ”Blake please?” she said softly. ”I don’t even remember the night, he got me drunk, I only went over there to stop the withdrawals. I didn’t want to fuck him! I promise” she said. She didn’t know what else to tell him. She didn’t understand how he could believe that she wanted to fuck the boy. She only wanted to be with him, and she was basically scared of being with anyone else after Monroe, even though she did go through a stage where she tried pressuring Blake into it.
[/b][/size][/font] 319 WORDS | COMPLETE | BLAKE | OUTFIT
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NOW GIVE THEM A NICE NOTE HERE!
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Post by kristakalon3 on Jun 12, 2011 20:07:12 GMT -5
he did not know how to handle all of this, she was speaking but his feelings were still the same. he had been hoping, just hoping that something she'd say would make him feel better. but that wasn't happening, nothing good was coming out of this conversation. all that seemed to be happening was that alli was more upset, and he was just getting more pissed by the second. he didn't care if she didn't mean to do it, or that she didn't plan on it. but it happened, she should of stopped it, and that was what pissed him off the most. this not admitting to it, not taking blame for her actions.
he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't sit here and watch her cry and plead. he just couldn't deal with this right now, so he stood up and moved away from her and started to pace. he wanted to punch something, that aaron guys face maybe. but instead, he paced, he couldn't deal with punching the wall again, it wouldn't do any good at all. finally stopping again, he glared at alliya, he just couldn't get himself to calm down. "i don't care now sorry you are," he finally said after a quick calculation of how this would turn out, and deciding he didn't care at the moment in time.
"why can't you just take the blame for your actions?" finally giving up on keeping his anger in, he punced the wall next to alliya, but making sure not to hit her. "why is it always someone or something else?" he shook his head and made sure that tears didn't spill. "you took the drugs and you did fuck him. so how is it not your fault?"
words: three hundred and six
outfit:in previous
tags: eliza with allilya
notes: he's pisseddd
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Post by alliya on Jun 12, 2011 22:55:10 GMT -5
I'M THE NEW CANCER [/B][/size][/font][/size] •• N E V E R • L O O K E D • B E T T E R ••[/i] A N D Y O U C A N ' T S T A N D I T- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Alliya looked over at him when he stood up and walked away. What did she say that pissed him off more? She didn’t understand. She watched as he started to pace. She had pissed him of again. She didn’t know how, but she managed it. She looked up at him when he stopped. He was looking down at her, well more angry, more of a glare.
She heard the anger in his voice and she flinched. He never yelled at her. He never was angry at her. They were the perfect couple in so many people’s minds. But she ruined it. She let out a loud gasp when he punched the wall next to her. She shut her eyes and moved away from the mark that was created.
She let the tears fall down more. She didn’t like this side of him. Even if it was the truth. She didn’t want to hear it. ”I never said that it wasn’t my fault! I said that I didn’t want to! I don’t remember last night. I don’t remember anything but walking over and shooting up so that the pain would go away” she said hugging her legs closer to her body.
”I don’t know what else to say. I want this to work. I don’t want to lose you” she said softly. She didn’t want to lose him because of the stupid shit that Aaron said to get into her head. She wasn’t going to tell him about that though. She wasn’t going to tell him that Aaron made her think, and even at one point made her believe that it was his fault that she was addicted to heroin.
[/b][/size][/font] 279 WORDS | COMPLETE | BLAKE | OUTFIT
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NOW GIVE THEM A NICE NOTE HERE!
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