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Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Mar 17, 2011 23:52:59 GMT -5
It was about 5am and the night had been eventual. Nathaniel managed to get drunk for the second time in his life but was it a bad thing? He definitely wasn't an alcoholic but being intoxicated actually made him relax a lot more. It made his phobia kind of disappear but only because he just wasn't thinking about it. High doses of anxiety medication did the same thing to him too but the change it and now it barely helped at all.
Still, it was better to be drunk and not care every now and than rather than to be permanently drugged up every day. After that quick game, Nate could barely even type a single word on his phone, giving up altogether he just sat and watched them and had shots when he was told he was suppose to.
Having had a bit of vodka, whiskey and rum, Nate was starting to get used to the taste of it now and he was so drunk he could barely form a sentence without slurring the word.
Leaving the common room, he didn't want to go back to his room. He figured he might wake his room mate and that just wouldn't be nice so instead he went out onto the grounds and found himself stumbling into the garden before sitting down in the middle of the grass as staring at the flowers around him.
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Post by zofia on Mar 18, 2011 12:37:35 GMT -5
Zofia's roommates were sleeping, so she was pretty darn lonley, sitting up in her bed, her laptop on as she talked happily to the rest of the school who was up. Before long it became about five o'clock and she needed to got to sleep.Yet she couldn't manage to drift into unconsciousness no matter how hard she tried. Instead she decided to get the hell out of her room, she didn't want to wake her roommates and she definitely didn't want to be in here any longer. She'd been up all night in the same spot and her legs were killing her
So slipped on some shoes, pulled a jacket on and silently tip-toed out of her room and down the hall. She wasn't sure where she was going, because she didn't know where anything even was. She was confused, scared and she didn't like walking down this hallway with no one in it. She felt a panic attack coming on so she hurried trying to get out of this hallway and hoped to find people. But all she found outside of the dorms was more space full of no body and a few birds circling t\he sky. She felt her heart pound as she practically ran the opposite direction of the birds, who seemed to stay behind, and when they finally disappeared she slowed though she looked around and noticed she made it to something that resembled a garden.
She closed her eyes, she was still alone and she was still so scared. She took in shallow breaths trying to calm down and when she opened them again she saw someone and with that her breathing slowed and her heartbeat returned to normal. She pulled out the cigarettes she stashed in her pocket before leaving her room and pulled one out, lightening it. She needed to feel the smoke that usually helped relax her brain and would take away the rest of the lingering panic attack.
She felt a lot calmer as she approached the guy, breathing in the smoke and letting it out slowly, drinking in the feeling of relaxation. She finally made it to the boy and sat down, breathing in the last hit and letting the smoke out away from the guy. She wasn't the type of person to want to annoy someone with her smoking habits.
"Hey," she said as she ground the cigarette out on the stone next to her. She flicked it away and ran her finger in the ashes that were now on the stone. She sighed, wiping it on the grass and tilting her head to the sky. "What brings you out here so early?"
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banner credit to LA MER.
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Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Mar 18, 2011 23:08:10 GMT -5
The world was looking a whole lot nicer for the pretty blonde boy. He was actually pretty happy right now despite being alone with what was left of the bottle of rum that Clyde let him have. He was definitely not an alcoholic but it really wasn't looking like such a bad idea right now. Would be get into trouble if he was caught like this? Probably, there was no doubt of that but Nate couldn't even think it right now. He was just feeling a lot less worried about things. He was still iffy with strangers but talking to them for a few minutes while drunk might help him be okay with it.
He was just sitting there. He stuck the bottle down somewhere behind him and just looked around again. Why was he here all by himself? Cause everyone left? Yeah, that was it. Looking up as he heard footsteps approaching he smiled at the stranger. "Hi," he said, looking pretty cheerful which was highly unlike his usual self.
He froze for a moment and thought about it when she asked him a question that he didn't really have a proper answer for. "Um.. we were all hangin' out and everyone left and I didn't want to go to sleep so i came here," he told her, his words slightly slurred as the headache was starting to set in a bit. As if by instincts he reached behind for the bottle and just held it in his lap.
As sad as it was to see someone so young like this, it was actually helping him just a bit. He wasn't drinking too much but the alcohol he knew would help him feel a lot better so even just holding the bottle like it was a security blanket made him feel better.
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Post by zofia on Mar 19, 2011 8:57:30 GMT -5
Zofia wished she had something to drink, something so she wouldn't feel this pain of this horrible feeling inside of her. She knew while she was here, she was going to have to find something to drink, so she could at least gulp down the pain of being alone. She sighed, thinking about all of this made her heart go faster and ache worse. She wished she had soemthing to drown in her little sorrows of not having her favorite person with her.
She smiled at him, and pulled her feet to her as she kept her eyes on the sky and listened to what the guy said and nodded. "Ah. Yeah. I just couldn't sleep." She shrugged and watched as a bird flew down from the sky and landed next to her. With that her heart beat faster and she closed her eyes willing it to go away before opening them again and it was closer. She yelped loudly and slowly scooted away, which brought her a little closer to the blonde boy next to her.
She frowned as the bird seemed to follow her every move, what the hell was wrong with this thing. She finally jumped up and ran behind the boy and crouched down. The moment she jumped up, the bird had lew away and her breath began to slow down and she let herself fall backwards. She reached a shaking hand into her pocket to retrieve her pack of cigerattes, and lit another one. Inhaling and exhaling slowly she felt a twinge of fear, but it seemed no other birds were around.
So she sat up and mumbled a sorry and shook her head, trying to lose the daze of fear. "Uh. I'm Zofia," she said with a small wavering smile.
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banner credit to LA MER.
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Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Mar 20, 2011 6:08:03 GMT -5
Nate still tried to think about what he said but he was definitely a whole lot more talkative in his current state. Usually he wouldn't say much at all but right now he could tell her a lot, probably more than he otherwise have said in several days of conversations put together.
Nate was still incredibly drunk at this point but when she yelped and closer, he looked past here to see what the problem was. Noticing the bird he frown. She was scared of some bird? Wait, no. Who was he was judge? When he wasn't completely inebriate, Nate was scared of people being near him just because they could potentially touch him and all hell would break loose or something. That was a whole lot crazier than being afraid of a bird.
"You're afraid of birds?" he asked but there was no judgment in his tone. "I'm afraid of people touching me," he admitted. "Unless I have this," he said holding up the bottle that was just under half full. He had vodka and whiskey tonight too which was probably what got him drunker, quicker and left a lasting effect on him. "I don't usually drink or anything and this is like the second time ever cause Clyde wanted a hug so he figured he'd get me drunk cause that's the only way.. to get one," he said, trying to explain himself but no being able to have it be concise and to the point like usual.
Lying back on the ground, he stared up at the sky, the bottle staying in his hand to the side, his eyes were about half closed by now when she introduced herself. "I'm Nate," he told her with a slight smile forming on his lips and the soothing sounds of almost nothing in the garden that morning. It was quiet and cool and nice. He definitely liked it like this. With the smile being rare enough, Nate manage to one up himself and do something that he was never do around a stranger, he closed his eyes. The boy would usually stare at the floor, glancing up occasional to keep an eye on where everyone was but right now he couldn't manage care about that at all.
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Post by zofia on Mar 20, 2011 11:17:28 GMT -5
Zofia had always liked meeting new people and making friends, it was always a good feeling to know she was liked. Yeah it might of been the whole reason she did sports, then again she also just liked doing so. She also did nerdy things like chess, so yeah she wasn't always trying to be popular. It just happened, she was one of the better cheerleaders, which by default made her head cheerleader and the most popular girl in school.
Zof had difinitely wished she was drunk of her ass. She had a few things in her room, hidden under her bed of course, but she had yet to touch it. She didn't like partying by herself, and she didn't know many people and none well enough to party. Though with his next work she frowned slightly and blushed. It was the one fear that she didn't like to admit, though it was kind of obvious now so she just nodded, "That and plenty more." She shrugged and ran her hand through her hair and inhaled another puff, exhaling and sighing in pleasure. God she felt better already, and with his next statement, her eyebrows rose and she smiled. At least she wasn't the only person with things that caused them to flip.
She nodded,"Yeah. I'm afraid of crowds, being alone, birds, heights, dark woods, child birth and being dirty." She shrugged like it was soemthing normal and nothing unusal to have a million fears. She was sitting on the patio, to make sure she didn't get dirt on her, no need for more panic attacks. "I sometimes drink a little too much," she said with a shrug,"But not very often." She was not an alcoholic at all, she just liked parties, then again what teenager didn't? Drinking always helped her from panicking. She shrugged, she didn't evven know who this person was and it didn't matter really, she'd probably meet them sooner or later.
She watcched him, and wondered how he could be so calm, if he was so afraid of being touched, she wondered what he would do if she touched him. She knew what she did whenever her fears were brought around her, but she wasn't sure if people had the same feeling. She didn't want to put him through anything so instead she just looked at him, contemplating asking, finally she sighed. "Uh Nate. When someone touches you..what do you do?"
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banner credit to LA MER.
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Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Mar 20, 2011 17:35:02 GMT -5
Nate just nodded. He understood he was afraid all the time, just plain paranoid about letting anyone get too close to him. Someone could just be talking and waving their arms and he would shrink back, trying to get away like they could hurt him or something but that was kind of true. Being touched by anyone just made him feel like and it burned. It sounded strange but it like like a burning that made him freeze up and wish it would go away. It wasn't the best way to live life and it left him feeling so alone all the time. He craved friendship and he wanted a relationship and all those things but he could never have that.
"Crowds suck," Nate agreed. "I can't even be in a room with more than three other people without being all paranoid," he told her. "Try learning anything in a classroom full of people, it's impossible," he explained. It wasn't something he could manage to live with in the real world without becoming a hermit. Nate was always going to be afraid so life wasn't an easy thing to do for him.
"I'm good with being alone though, I spend a lot of time just sitting alone somewhere.. anywhere," he told her, pulling the bottle up he drank more of it, the drunk feelings were starting to simmer down and he needed to refuel.
"It helps though, right?" he said, looking back at her when she said she drank too. This was only his second time ever. Nate hadn't wanted to repeat it but it kind of just happened. It was good meeting this girl though. It was like a whole new world just opened up for him. He wasn't really alone anymore because she was like him and she understood. Finally there was someone who wouldn't think he was just crazy or making things up.
Nate was calm right now but only because all the memories, the very beginning of where this whole phobia started was right back in his mind and he couldn't even think it or remember it enough to let it bother him. He was still a bit iffy about letting anyone do it now but it wasn't as bad because he could think of the reasons why and torture himself with it.
Blue eyes stared back at her when she asked her question. "I don't.. I don't like it. I have to get away when they try to. I can't let them," he said. "Feels like.. feels like fire and I can't move," he said, looking a little agitated now. Sitting up he moved back away from her just a bit but they were still sitting close enough to keep talking. He pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, curling up a bit.
"I don't want think about that right now," he said, staring at the ground but it was too late now. Turns out alcohol wasn't the perfect cure after all. All it took was a reminder for him to get nervous, anxious, worried and afraid again. Why did he even come out here. This was a bad idea. People were out here, he should have stayed hidden away in his room. Nate didn't want to think about it but the more he tried not to, the more he did and he blamed himself for it. The things that happened, he was convinced it was all his fault so this phobia that made life so difficult to live, this was his punishment, he was sure of it.
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Post by nathaniel shane thomas on Mar 20, 2011 17:35:41 GMT -5
Nate just nodded. He understood he was afraid all the time, just plain paranoid about letting anyone get too close to him. Someone could just be talking and waving their arms and he would shrink back, trying to get away like they could hurt him or something but that was kind of true. Being touched by anyone just made him feel like and it burned. It sounded strange but it like like a burning that made him freeze up and wish it would go away. It wasn't the best way to live life and it left him feeling so alone all the time. He craved friendship and he wanted a relationship and all those things but he could never have that.
"Crowds suck," Nate agreed. "I can't even be in a room with more than three other people without being all paranoid," he told her. "Try learning anything in a classroom full of people, it's impossible," he explained. It wasn't something he could manage to live with in the real world without becoming a hermit. Nate was always going to be afraid so life wasn't an easy thing to do for him.
"I'm good with being alone though, I spend a lot of time just sitting alone somewhere.. anywhere," he told her, pulling the bottle up he drank more of it, the drunk feelings were starting to simmer down and he needed to refuel.
"It helps though, right?" he said, looking back at her when she said she drank too. This was only his second time ever. Nate hadn't wanted to repeat it but it kind of just happened. It was good meeting this girl though. It was like a whole new world just opened up for him. He wasn't really alone anymore because she was like him and she understood. Finally there was someone who wouldn't think he was just crazy or making things up.
Nate was calm right now but only because all the memories, the very beginning of where this whole phobia started was right back in his mind and he couldn't even think it or remember it enough to let it bother him. He was still a bit iffy about letting anyone do it now but it wasn't as bad because he could think of the reasons why and torture himself with it.
Blue eyes stared back at her when she asked her question. "I don't.. I don't like it. I have to get away when they try to. I can't let them," he said. "Feels like.. feels like fire and I can't move," he said, looking a little agitated now. Sitting up he moved back away from her just a bit but they were still sitting close enough to keep talking. He pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, curling up a bit.
"I don't want think about that right now," he said, staring at the ground but it was too late now. Turns out alcohol wasn't the perfect cure after all. All it took was a reminder for him to get nervous, anxious, worried and afraid again. Why did he even come out here. This was a bad idea. People were out here, he should have stayed hidden away in his room. Nate didn't want to think about it but the more he tried not to, the more he did and he blamed himself for it. The things that happened, he was convinced it was all his fault so this phobia that made life so difficult to live, this was his punishment, he was sure of it.
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