Dignified Rage [Hannah]

[chance joseph wilson]

It was just more practice. Nothing was suppose to go wrong. Chance had three different sports lined up, filling up his week with ease but he still had some small bit of spare time to himself and with that, he would practice some more or work out. This was who he was and what he was. Sports was his whole life and he couldn't just be good at it, he had to be great.

He had been at the pool for almost an hour when it hit. He should have seen it coming but Chance always ignored it until it was too late. He wasn't even doing anything that he thought might trigger it. He was sure that there was no one and nothing around her to get mad at in the middle of the afternoon.. But apparently he was wrong.

He was swimming laps, trying to beat his time and do better when it hit. He was just angry and threw the timer down and broke it. He couldn't beat him time and he was slowing down from constantly doing laps and it was not good enough. This results in rage and the next thing he knew, Chance was sitting on one of the benches that lined the pool and gritting his teeth, trying to calm down when all he wanted to do was to punch the hell out of something.

He even had his right fist curled up tight, knuckles bleeding but he couldn't think of that right now. He was still dripping wet, not entirely sure when he got out of the water because all he wanted to do was the smash the hell out of the hells and get this out of his system. It didn't work like that though, he just had to wait it out and hope he calmed down soon enough.

[ruby2]

Today had been a good day. Hannah hasn't decided why yet. She just knew that it had been a good day today. She had finished her French essay and even got an A- which wasn't a surprise, but it still made her feel good. She was able to run six miles today without ever having one of her paralysis or knee failures. In fact, she even beat yesterday's time. And very very early in the morning today, after getting her drink with Summer, she was able to run into the next town over and see Noah for a couple of minutes. He was sound asleep, all adorable and everything. He was in the hands of a good care taker, and Hannah was so thankful for that. She owes this guy her life. No matter what he says. He was still taking good care of Noah. If it weren't for him, Noah would've been taken away. To God knows where and she'd get sued for abandonment of her child. Or something like that. But she couldn't stay long because she had to run back to Hawthorne to check back in. And while she hated leaving Noah, she had to. She would see him soon again. So seeing him had made it a good enough day already. And then there was the date with Chance. It was beyond amazing. Dramatic, but the ending was definitely amazing. Hannah has never had such a good day in so long now.

So, she woke up with a big goofy grin, went to classes with a big goofy grin, and just did everything with big goofy grin. Hannah was out of breath from her Cross Country practice runs. You're probably thinking "Who practices for cross country? Everybody gets in." To her though, it was more than just a sports team. It was her life. Running was the one thing that she can not live without. Other than Noah, but Noah wasn't a sport. Well he could be with his hyperactivity, constantly crawling over and back over and back and over and back. Taking care of a kid was like a marathon. Fun, but extremely tiring. But being a mother, you don't really mind it as much. Noah was her pride and joy, but right now, she had to keep him in a low profile, just in case there are social workers around here. He'd forgive her right? If Hannah tried to pretend she wasn't his mother all through high school and college. He'd be seven by the time she was done school altogether. Would he understand? Would he recognize her? Would he ever find the love in him to love her for leaving him for school? Better yet, would she forgive herself if she was in his shoes? The answer was easy. Most definitely not. If she didn't liked being abandoned, why would she ever want to inflict the same pain of abandonment to her own son? That's just..... stupid.

Hannah hummed the chorus of 'My Love' by Westlife. They were one of her most favourite bands in the whole wold. It helped that they had a really cute Irish accents. Not as sexy and cute as Chance's, but still cute. If she was in even more of a happier mood, she was sure she'd be skipping. But then she'd slam her head against a wall after she does. She stripped off her bra and thong and replaced it with her all time favourite pink striped bikini. She knew it was really girly, but she couldn't help it. It brings out the colour of her eyes anyways, so it was a definite bonus. She pulled the baggy white t-shirt over her head. One of the sleeves fell off one of her shoulder, and she threw on her black leggings to match the top. She slipped into her black boots, shoving her flip flops, cell phone, wallet, keys, and a towel in a beach bag. She pulled the hair band up and let it snap against her wrist. Hair band? Check. With that same big goofy grin, she hopped down the stairs and slowly made her way to the pool. Today was a good day for a swim. Sure, it was March, and it's still Winter, but it was sunny, and it really wasn't all that cold.

Her humming stopped and she yielded mid-step. She looked down at the broken timer, and the trail of wet footsteps on the ground with her gleaming green eyes. Sitting on one of the benches was Chance. He looked pissed. No. Pissed was an understatement. He was more than pissed. Furious, maybe, but maybe more. She knew that she should be scared or at least keep her distance or leave and let him calm down first. But, she didn't feel like doing that. And it wasn't like her gut was talking her out of it. She bent down to pick up the broken pieces of plastic, and little shards of glass. She wondered if this timer had a lanyard to go with it..... One of the pieces pierced through her right index finger and she dropped all the ones that she picked up to press down on her finger to try to stop the pain, hissing quietly. That bugger was stuck in there and she didn't have her tweezers. Damn it! She pressed her strawberry glossed lips together as she tried to pick it out with her left hand. And then it finally came out. She stuck the tip of her finger in her mouth, biting down on the boo boo.

When she was sure it stopped bleeding, she continued to pick up the broken pieces. She had a couple of cuts, but it wasn't as bad as the one on the tip of her index finger. She dumped them all into the garbage can. Don't ask her why she was picking up the pieces because she wasn't all that sure, herself. Maybe because she was in a good mood and she didn't want to get out of the pool and step on it later. It'd be stupid if she didn't see it, but hey, she's pretty accident prone. She slowly made her way over to Chance, debating if she should put her hand on his shoulder or not, but decided not to. But when she was finally in a close enough proximity, she realized his whole body was soaked. Head to toe. Holy mother of all spaceships. He looked mighty fine. She wanted to lick those delicious abs. She swallowed hard. Yeah, this no sex thing is going to be really hard. Especially with him looking that damn good. "Hey Chance..... you okay?"

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[chance joseph wilson]

Chance was in no way thinking clearly. Even sitting there he just wanted to do some damage. It wasn't like he was throwing some kind of hissy fit because he didn't get his way, this was full rage. Being alone help just a fraction but still he pounded the already bleeding fist into the wooden bench a few times just to get some of it out.

It felt like pure energy, frustrated, raging energy that needed to get out but he couldn't get it out without some drastic entirely unnecessary actions. He only hurt his knuckles even more and the blood was covering his hand and dripping to the floor but he didn't care. He could break the bones in his hand and he wouldn't care right now because he just needed to get this all out and have it stop.

Chance noticed a familiar form approaching him. "fuck," he mutter under his breath. Great, just what I needed, he though sarcastically. She needed to get away from him or he'd just take this out on her if she got too close. He hoped she'd listen to his warning but even a warning didn't quite come out the way he would have intended.

"Get the fuck away from me!," he yelled at her and all she did was say hi and ask if he was okay and he wouldn't even look at her. He just sit there, he couldn't let her close. It was like the prince had turned into the beast and belle just stood there innocently, not knowing how bad this could get.

Getting up be moved over the the lifeguard stand. His fist curling up tightly again, this time it was the left that was going to take a beating as he slammed it hard against the metal pole to or three times, causing the thing to shake with each hit. She was right there and he didn't want her to see this but he couldn't stop it either and that should have fueled the anger even more but he was slowly getting just a fraction less aggressive.

[ruby2]

Hannah didn't know why she asked if he was okay. It was clear that he wasn't, but she felt the need to ask anyways. Stupid question, but she couldn't help herself. It was just so natural to ask someone if they're okay when they seem down or upset or in this case, angry. But angry wasn't what he was feeling. It was hard core rage. She's never actually seen someone with impulse-control disordered patients have one of their "episodes," so she didn't really know what to expect, much less what to do. Chance's right fits were bleeding. The blood was just pooling on the floor, his knuckles full of abrasions. But he didn't looked like he cared or even felt it. Hannah knew the feeling. It was like at the Lighthouse where she punched the wall. It wasn't until she went to the infirmary to get it checked out before she felt the pain. And trust me, it hurt like no tomorrow. She felt like she had just gotten skated over by some two hundred pound man. They had bandaged it up with a tensor gauze, but she didn't feel the need for it. All she did was ice it, and disinfect it every now and then. It had eventually stopped hurting after a while. In fact, it stopped hurting two days ago, but there were little scars on them.

She could feel the pain that he wasn't feeling now. On the ground by the bench was a pool of blood. It was pretty bad. It looked bad, so it was going to feel like shit when he settles down and she can get a better look at it. You know that thing where they say mothers can feel the same pain their child is feeling because they're bloods connected? Well, it was kind of like that now. She could feel the stinging sensation of it, burning, hurting. She didn't even realize she was cringing until her mind finally adapted to what he said to her. Her heart stung a little, but she knew he didn't mean it. He was angry and he couldn't control it. He's just angry. Chance was trying to avoid looking at her or even so much as glance at her. And she felt the sting again, but multiplied this time. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it, Beth. She reminded herself. Right. Of course he didn't. This was just his anger talking. She didn't leave like he asked her to, just stood there, not moving. She didn't want to take a step closer to him and risk getting him even more furious than he was now. He moved up over to the lifeguard stand, and wondered what he was doing, but a second later, his left fist answered. Once. Twice. Three times. She flinched every time it hit the pole. The pain was extremely unbearable to her- and this is the same person that gave birth. Giving birth? Yeah, it's like being run over by a long ass train- if not worst. So if this was painful to her, it ought to be painful for Chance. He was on an adrenaline rush, so he didn't feel it now, but she could feel it. And he would later today. Tears sprang from her eyes.

"Chance...." Her voice was pleading, desperate. She needed him to stop before he hurt himself even more. She was so worried about him, and she didn't know how to express it. Didn't know how to tell him. All she knew was that there was this feeling at the pit of her stomach that's telling her to do whatever she can to make him stop. If it meant yelling at her, she was okay with it. If he punched her, she was okay with it. As long as it wasn't him that was getting hurt. "Please....." She begged, taking small steps towards him, cautious. There's also another saying that goes along something like this: If a child hurts their mom physically, it wouldn't hurt at all. But it would hurt emotionally. "I.... I don't want you to hurt yourself. Yell at me. Punch me. Do anything....." She told him, looking at him with pleading eyes, not caring if he sees it or not. Just as long as he hears what she's saying. She glanced at his fists, and almost gasped, but held it in. They were a little swollen. It was purple, and there were gashes. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't let him hurt himself like that anymore. She stood between the lifeguard stand and him. "Please. Just..... don't hurt yourself." She didn't care if he would actually hit her or yell at her or degrade her or call her names or even call her a slut or a whore. All she cared about right now was that she needed take a look at his fists, get it checked out and treated.

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[chance joseph wilson]

He could barely even breathe. Everything just felt so tensed and it was like his own ribcage had steel in them keeping him from being able to even take a nice deep breath. Even the muscles in his arms contracted, ready to put force into what ever his next move would be. The unstoppable force was craving for an unmovable object and then maybe it would wear itself out an stop.. He could only hope.

The problem with working out so much was that when Chance actually hit something, he hit it hard and it was full contact. It was probably bad but he liked his sports, he needed it because constantly pushing himself helped keep him from getting angry all the time and that working out he always did.. Well, endorphins or something right? It felt better to always be doing something rather to just sit there and get hit with all this anger and no be able to really feel like you were getting it out. He needed to get it out. most would say work through it and don't let it control you but Chance's way of dealing with it was letting it out on something and then calming down after.

Chance barely noticed where Hannah was, he was just glad she hadn't come close enough for him to have her in his line of vision. It was like that episode he saw on animal planet. There was a male rino and they were trying to him to mate with this female rino and instead of being all cool about it, it just charged at her, trying to get her out of his territory. Chance was kind of in that kind of head space right now. He didn't want her to be close to him or just anywhere near him right now.

She said his name and he stepped back from the lifeguard post, staring at the ground. Was he done? He had to be done now. His fists were still clenched, relaxing them would probably make it hurt more but Chance wasn't even feeling them right now and he wasn't even going to look to see the damage he had cause. He just wasn't thinking about that right now. He didn't want to think at all.

'Please', that that was think she said and already he was starting to calm down. He had done what he needed to do and he had got this all out of his system by now. Slowly his fists relaxed and she spoke. Did she really just say that? She sounded a little sad. She didn't want him to hurt himself but it hurt to hear her say the words. Hurt her instead? That was the last thing he would ever do! He ran his left hand through his hair that was already wet and mostly slicked back, calming down now before she stepped in front of him. Didn't he tell her to leave? Oh god, she told her to 'get the fuck away from him', he didn't mean it like that, he would never really mean that.

"God," he said quietly at the craziness of the situation. He went from angry to feeling remorse. "I'm sorry," he said, finally looking back up at her, feeling bad from what he said to her, for possibly upsetting her with his behavior. He didn't really care that he was hurt right now, he was just sorry she had to be here for any of this.

[ruby2]

Hannah wasn't really sure what she was doing, just that she needed him to stop punching the stand. She was sure there dented finger marks just like hers was on the wall of the Lighthouse, but she didn't care. Now wasn't the time to see the damage he's done to a stupid object. But Chance looked like he was cooling off now. He looked like he was done letting out everything that he needed to let out. Thank God. She could see his fists slowly unclenched, relaxed. She let out a breath, she didn't know she was holding. But she was so glad that he didn't seem to be angry anymore. At first Hannah had wanted to know why he was so angry or what caused him to be so angry. But right now, in this moment, it didn't matter anymore. She didn't want to know. Nor did she need to know. The why and the what would be pointless information. This already happened so it didn't matter anymore. It's not like she could grab a time machine travel back to half an hour before this and change the outcome. Right now, what mattered the most was Chance. She needed to know that he was okay. That he was fine now. That's all that she needed to know. Well, she needed to know where it's hurting too, but that's besides the point. Well, to her anyways.

"God, I'm sorry." She shook her head at him. What was he sorry for? He had nothing to be sorry about. He had gotten angry, that was normal behavior. His actions were different than most people, but he wasn't most people, nor did those people have anger issues. But it wouldn't matter if Chance was mob king or if he had cancer and only had two weeks or two months to live. She would still like him no matter what. If he could make her feel great about herself even though she had been a bitch about it forever, that's something that she needed to keep in mind. If he could accept her for being a slut, then she could accept him for anything. She wasn't disappointed that he was angry. She wasn't exactly upset that he was angry. She just felt sad. She didn't know how to describe it. But it was like she was sad that he was hurting himself and she didn't know what to do and how to stop it. Although she's not quite sure how he stopped at this point either. But Chance has absolutely no reason to be sorry.

She gave him a friendly smile, "You have nothing to be sorry about." She reassured, putting a hand on his bare chest. She had to do everything she could to not think about all the kinky and dirty stuff she could do to him now. "Promise." She added, just in case he had any doubts about it. Sure, the words he said had hurt, but it was just a heat of the moment thing. And she knew for certain that he hadn't meant it. When his eyes finally met hers, she couldn't help but let out that big goofy grin she had all day today. She laid her hands on his cheeks, "You are perfect to me. No matter what. So don't you ever think otherwise." She told him, leaning up to give him a small kiss on the lips. She let her hands fall from his face to his hands. She wrapped hers around both of his, bringing it up so she could see it more clearly. She made tsking noises at him, teasing. But his wounds were pretty bad. She let go of his left hand and started pulling him towards the pool. "I'll let you in on a secret of mine." She said to him with a devious smile. She pulled the baggy shirt over her head and tossed it onto a nearby bench, along with her bag, her leggings and her boots. She was stripping in front of him, but she wasn't really. Her bikini was on, so it wasn't like she was naked. Close, but she wasn't naked. She brought him to the edge of the pool and told him to sit down. She dove into the pool, finger tips first, her right index finger stinging, but she ignored it.

She surfaced and swam back to Chance. "If we drink, but not swallow, a little bit of pool water and spit it on someone's wounds, it disinfects it." She told him with a straight face. After about thirty seconds, she burst into laughter. "Just kidding! But pool water does disinfect wounds." She told him. She pulled his hand under water, gently rubbing his knuckles. "When I was a kid, my mother used to do that for me all the time. 'Oh, Beth, you make too many boo boos.' She would say, and I'd just smile at her like it didn't hurt. Then she'd pull me along with her and dump me into the pool. 'All better!' She'd say." She didn't know why she was telling him this. There really was no point to it, but she felt the need to tell him something. Anything. She pulled his left hand in, doing the same thing, rubbing away splinters or dirts or bacteria away from his wound. "And then out of nowhere, everybody would end up jumping into the pool, all clothed and everything, and my mom would just stand there like we were all stupid or something." She smiled a little, remember her mother's expression. "But my dad always ends up dunking her into the pool. Anyways. The pool water helps the wound heal faster too" She told him, her eyes fixed on his knuckles. After disinfecting it, she continuously kissed each boo boo that he had. "All better."

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[chance joseph wilson]

He was starting to relax now and Chance took a much needed deep breath and tried to clear his head. He hadn't wanted her to see this. He didn't ever want her to see any of it but it was inevitable. He wanted to be around her and so spending more time together, and living at the same school meant that there was more of a chance of running into her with he was like this. It was always going to happen and he knew that. The arcade was no where near this bad. It was extremely mild even negligible but this he couldn' exactly play off like it was nothing.

She smiled though and he was starting to feel a little better now, and a little more like himself. She said he didn't have anything to be sorry about but he didn't believe that, still he said nothing and when her hand was on his chest, he covered it with his own instinctively only to move it away again when he felt the wetness and realized it was bloody. "Sorry," he said quickly for getting blood on her, before looking over his hand but quickly dismissing it as though it wasn't a big deal. He had done this kind of thing before and that much was obvious in the way he hardly seemed to care about his bleeding knuckles.

Chance managed a small smile. He barely even remembered it now. It only changed into a proper smile when she spoke again. He knew he wasn't perfect but the fact that she could actually smile and say those words even after seeing what she saw was definitely a good indication that things would maybe be alright.

"Thanks Hannah," he said for the kind words after she leaned up and kissed him. She was great like that, she understood and that was just one other reason why he wanted to be with her. She wouldn't freak out or run scared if he went into hulk mode for no good reason. She would stay and then make sure he was alright and he needed that. No one had ever done that. Most girls would stay away even after he calmed down but not Hannah.

He bit his lower lip to hide the smile after she made that noise when she saw the damage he had managed to do to himself. She understood. She wasn't going to get upset or lecture him about how he should try to control his anger or just not do anything stupid like this if he got angry. Most people would do like and say that like it was some kind of switch and he could just turn it on and off but it wasn't. It wasn't something he could even begin to understand how to control and no one really understood that but Hannah seemed to.

He followed when they moved toward the pool. He stayed pretty still as she took the extra clothes off. She was wearing a bikini and this was a pool so he should be used to that but still, she some how managed to make even that look extremely hot. So while she did that he just watched. He could justify that if he needed to. Technically the were on a date and there were plans for a second so it was fine for him to perv on the girl he was going to be dating. He still didn't let her catch him doing it though.

Chance just sat down at the edge of the pool. This was about as much of him as she had seen considering he was just in a pair of speedos but Chance didn't mind so much. He would probably feel a little more self-conscious in a part of boxer shorts since speedos were what he wore for swim practice anyway.

He raised an eyebrow and smirk when she said that about pool water. Yeah, he wasn't going to buy that but pool water did disinfect it. He let her pull his hand into the water and had to try very hard not to wince or pull away because it did sting quite a bit. He tensed his hand a bit but let her rub some of the blood off it.

He smiled at her story but it still left him with a question. "Beth?" he asked, he was pretty sure her name was Hannah so who was Beth? She even sounded like this was a nice story so clearly her and her mother's relationship wasn't so bad. Which meant that something serious would have happened to change that. She had been so angry so something must have caused it. Chance never needed much of a reason but she wasn't like him, she would have had a serious reason for it.

It was a real nice story though and it made him smile. they sounded like a real nice family and it made him kind of miss his because even with all the bad stuff that would happen because of his rage, it really wasn't so bad. They had a lot of good times too. When she was done, he got into the water and placed a hand on her waist, moving her back against the wall and he leaned in to kiss her. This time it was a real kiss, none of that quick one second really chaste kisses, he made this one good, even leaning in more, feeling her against him.

[ruby2]

Hannah knew what it felt like when you know that people are watching you act up with one of your disorder. People either a.) acting like nothing happen. b.) tease you for it. c.) make you feel like shit cause you have a disorder or d.) forget it if it needs to be forgotten. Chance placed his warm hand over her's and quickly withdrew them when he realized it was bloody, apologizing once more. She let out a small laughter. He was going to apologize for just about everything, wasn't he? "Don't worry about it. It's nothing I can't wash off." She told him, the smile still lingering on her face. "Plus, I don't need to be afraid of your blood. It's too pure. Mine, on the other hand.... You might just want to stay away from it." She joked. He wasn't sure if he'd take it lightly like she intended to do, but well she wasn't really sure how he'd react to that. Defensive, maybe? Maybe not. But it was true. He needed to be safer around her blood. For all he knew, she could have aids- which she's gotten from her fuck buddies whom got it from someone else. Although, she didn't show any signs nor did she feel any of the symptoms, but that didn't mean she didn't have it. Maybe she should get it checked just in case. Better safe than sorry, right? She'd like to think that she didn't, but considering her sexual relations history, she could've caught it from someone, no problem. She made a mental note to self to get tested.

It was weird to not see Chance in a good mood. He'd always been in such a good mood since she's seen him. Well..... other than when they first met on the chat. He was just a downer then, but other than that,she's never seen him in another bad mood again. Until now. It was different. She hasn't decided whether it was good or bad yet. She was leaning towards the good. Just because of the fact that this thing has made her realize that he was..... normal. Not in like a you're so bland kind of way. But more like..... While Chance was perfect in every single way, he still has his moments. And that made him normal. She didn't know how to explain this, but it was like...... Even though he's strong and toned and absolutely droolable, he still showed signs of weakness and vulnerability. That was a good thing to her. It might not make sense, but it made sense to her so that's really all that matters. And then finally, he managed to let out a smile for her, and then it turned into a proper one. Hannah felt like doing a happy dance right there and then. It was so strange to know that she could put a smile on his face. It was like she some sort of super powers that allowed her to make him smile. It made her happy to know that she could do that. She wondered if she was able to do that to Jeff, Isaac, Summer, Hope, and others too. She wondered if it worked that way. Was her special power limited to him? Or was she able to do that to other people? Could she expand the limitation to the family she has here?

Family. Her own little family at Hawthorne Academy. She'd never thought she'd see the day when she would actually make friends that she actually likes, and be able to call them family. Now that Isaac knew her life story, and Summer, Hope and Jeff were like her closest friends, and she was going on a second date with Chance....... Well, it made her feel like a normal seventeen year old girl. Damn. She couldn't believe she's only seventeen. It feels like she should be at least thirty five right now with what's going on in her life an all. She's always pictured herself to die as a grumpy old woman, all wrinkly and ugly. These people here- even Marilyn and Cameron- made her want to stay in this place. For good. Not run away like the scared little girl she was. They made her want to stay in a place for more than half a year, settle down and do good in school, make a living for her and Noah, meet new people, talk about staying, make more friends. Talk about forever. That would be nice. To talk about forever with someone about this place, about growing old in this place. As in here, South Haven, not here, in Hawthorne Academy. She smiled at the thought. It felt good to think that she'd have a future in this place instead of not knowing which country she'd be in, four months from now. Where would she stay eight months from now? A year? Five years? Although, she doubted the guys would want to talk about forever with her, so she'd have to stick with Summer. Or Hope. But she knew Summer longer, and trusted Summer more. Not that she didn't trust Hope because she did.

Hannah hated it when she went to psychotherapy and the therapist would say, "Well why do you think that happened?" or "Do you think you can control it?" or "Why can't you control it?" And all those other annoying questions. She hated people asking that. She couldn't just stop having Conversion disorder in a second. If she could, she wouldn't be here, now would she? Sometimes she was sure shrinks were just plain stupid, asking pointless questions that never help. So she knew that Chance wouldn't like being asked those questions either because they were pointless. He can't just stop having anger problems in a matter of seconds or even five years. These things takes time to control. There was no point in lecturing someone that can't help their actions. No one can successfully change a person. They can try, but no person would change unless they want to and do it themselves. You don't try to change someone. No. You support them along the way. There's a difference. Supporting someone meant that you would either catch them if they fall, or hold out a hand and steady them when they need you to do that. Changing them is telling them what to do and not do. Changing them meant restricting their comfort zone and their habits. Yeah, good intentions, but wrong ideas.

"Beth?" He called. She looked up at him and was about to go, "Hmmmm?" Then she realized he wasn't calling her, he was asking about it. "Oh, my middle name's Elizabeth, but it's too long and I don't like Being called Liz or Lizzie, so they stuck with Beth." She explained to him with a small smile on him. Sometimes they called her Eliza, but that was only when they were in a good mood, but needed to talk to her about something serious. The cold water around her moved when Chance got in. He laid a hand on her waist and slowly moved her back until her back hit the wall. She had an idea what he was about to do next, but she wasn't a hundred percent sure. A second later, he answered with a kiss. Not just a peck on the lips, but an actual kiss. Hannah's eyes fluttered shut, kissing him back, her arm wrapped around his neck, tip toed as she leaned against him.

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[chance joseph wilson]

He smiled again. She was being so nice about all this. How did he even manage to find a girl like her? Chance wasn't sure but he figured he was just lucky or something. His eyes narrowed on the girl, "I really don't need to know about that," he said though not in a serious tone or anything. He just did not want to think about all the sex she was having and what she could have picked up. Chance didn't usually go for girls like that, it was why not having sex was easy cause the girls he did date would either whine about wanting the perfect moment or a perfect evening or just had over-protective parents who wanted them home at a ridiculously early hour.

"Why not just call you Hannah?" he asked, not getting what that was about. If it was her first name then why not use it, right? Unless there was some kind of reason behind it or something. Either way, it didn't really matter too much.

Finally kissing her felt good. It was about time they got to that anyway and just feeling her that close to him and feeling her skin, holding her close, even being in the water, it all felt great. He hadn't actually got to actually sleeping with a girl but Chance was still a guy. A teenage guy, with a hot girl in front of him so yeah, he wanted to. He thought about it as much as the next guy so when he kissed, those same thoughts were in his head and it was turning him on, even if all he did was kiss her. He couldn't help that and it wasn't even a problem anyway so Chance just went with it. Besides, she was so hot and sweet and nice and understanding. She was all kinds of great and she had said before that he was perfect to her and whether he said it or not, she was perfect to him too.

This was really starting to turn him own a lot so Chance finally pulled back. He didn't want to but he knew he probably should. The last thing he needed was to go too far and then really not want to stop or something. That would just be annoying and leave him all sexually frustrated and Chance would rather just avoid it.

[ruby2]

Hannah laughed softly- even though it was more forced than intended. "Yeah, guess not." She tried to say lightly. Her being a sex addict was going to be a problem between them, always will. Even if she stopped having sex for good. She didn't know how to fix this. Or if there was even a solution. He didn't sound too serious about not needing to know about her sex history, but he didn't sound like he was joking either. She suddenly felt guilty and disgusting. Like she, too, was repulsed by her sexual behavior. But in her defense, she had never figured she'd ever settle down with a guy. She had never even wanted to settle down to one guy until she was older than twenty one, to be honest. She was never the kind of girl to commit. Like Summer, she didn't date. Well obviously, she did now, but she never thought she'd ever see this day come where she'd even ask for a second one. Or that she'd even go to the first one. She had always figured that she'd enjoy life while she can before life got harder with work and everything. But with Chance...... a girl like her was shunned upon. She was a sinful girl that his parents would never ever approve. Would she have to go to church and ask God for His forgiveness?

"Because, when I was a kid, I never could say my own name. It was always like 'Hanuhnuhnuhnuh,' but I could say Beth, so it just kinda stuck." She told him. She remembered when she was very very little, Scott would call her Lizzie, and he'd end up getting hit by one of the toys she threw at him. She had an awfully good aim. She was just that good. But then Scott would easily retaliate and pull on her pigtails. It was a constant fight between the two as toddlers. And as they grew up, it would turn to bicker. A lot of bicker. But she knew that Scott would kill anybody if they tried to hurt her- even if it was his best friend. And he knew that she would do the same for him. She wouldn't just kill the girl. She'd torture the stupid girl who was smart enough to mess with her brother int he first place. She's always hated the girls Scott dated, but hey, what could she do? It wasn't like she could tell him who to date and whom he couldn't date. She was not that girl who pussy blocked. Is that right? Is there even a proper way to say that? Oh wait, no. It was cock block. Yeah. She didn't do that. She actually treasured her life.

The kiss felt surreal. Kind of like a true love's kiss. It was steamy, but at the same time, it was romantic. To her, anyways. But at the same time, Hannah wasn't sure if they were moving too fast. She hasn't known him that long, and they've only been on one date. But the kiss felt long over due. She could feel his abs against her stomach and it was sexy as hell, but not as sexy as his accent or him in speedos. Well actually, his abs would be tied with his accent. But him in speedos was the sexiest of all. Summer was so lucky. She gets to see him like this for every practice and meet. Maybe she'll quit cross country and join swim team instead..... No. She would never be able to do competitive swimming. It's too tiring. She'll just sneak into their practices. She sure hoped the coach wouldn't mind her watching their practice. She was starting to get turned on by this. She's had so many different fantasies about them, and being in the pool was definitely one of them. But Chance pulled away before anything else could happen. Hannah gave him a pout, but let out a giggle when she saw some of her strawberry lip gloss on him. She used her thumb to rub some off his lips. "So...... how long can you stay underwater?" She asked, curious.

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[chance joseph wilson]

Chance wanted her so bad right now. It wasn't all the morals he was told he should live by that were keeping him back. He was by no means a good Christian who followed all the rules and never stepped a foot wrong. Chance just wasn't like that. Even some of his friends from Church and all would do things that would make their parents gasp in horror, they just didn't tell them about it.

Chance didn't even want to be really religious or anything but then being raised in that environment it was really all he knew and it would always be there somewhere in the back of his mind. He had compromised his morals time and time again on other things so actually having sex with a girl wasn't going to be a huge deal or anything but still, he hadn't done it in this long so he was going to give it some time. Besides, he was only just getting to know Hannah and he wanted to keeping getting to know her a lot better than he already did.

He didn't need her to be like that though. He didn't need her to be anything but herself and she was doing that just fine. He smiled when she told him where the whole 'Beth' thing came from and it was kind of cute, it made him smile. "When I was little I used to have a lot of trouble with a whole bunch of words. My sisters still tease me about it," he told her with a smile. he could give her a list if she really wanted to know but Chance was just glad he grew out of it instead of having some kind of speech problem or something.

She actually pouted and it looked kind of cute so Chance just smiled at her sheepishly, with his hands on the edge at either side of her. He didn't want to move too far away but he did need to break physical contact for a moment cause he was starting to get too turned on and he didn't need her noticing that too.

"Strawberry? Interesting," he said sounding all contemplative before grinning at her. Girls and they fancy flavored lip glosses, yeah, he definitely didn't have a problem with that at all. He looked confused when she asked her question but he answered it anyway. "I dunno like three and a half minutes or something," he told her. He didn't know what she was planning but really all he wanted to do was to keep kissing her.

[ruby2]

Neither Hannah nor her family was religious. Well, except for her cousins and her grandparents. But just because she wasn't religious, it didn't mean she didn't respect it. When she was seven, her mother had brought her to church, and the two would sit and listen, and Hannah would sing along with the choir. She loved church. Loved, being the operative word. It was their special thing. Her and her mom's. Other than shopping, this is the one thing they always do together. Did together. After Noah came into the picture, well, she was too sinful for everybody. But every now and then, she would still kneel on the ground and pray. Rarely. Only if she was desperate and needed some guidance. She was a closet Catholic. Not that she was ashamed of being Catholic, and it wasn't like anyone would believe her if they told her she was one, but now that her mother's gone, she doesn't feel the need to share it with anybody else. She can't share it with anyone else. It would just feel like she was cheating on her mom if she shared her Catholicism. It just doesn't feel right. She, at least, should respect her dead mother.

So since Chance was religious, she knew she had to respect his actions. She may want to bang him in every possible way, and he probably felt the same way, although she's not sure why he'd want to bang her, but since it's sinful, Hannah knew where the line is drawn. She knew her boundaries, and she was not going to even try and over step anything. So while Chance being a virgin is absolutely adorable, and she wanted to bang him 24/7, she knew that she couldn't, and wouldn't even thing about letting him because she'd be dead if his family ever found out. Like, she'd be slaughtered and fed to the wolves if they found out. Well..... not literally considering they're religious..... but she was sure they'd pray to God for her death. She knew that people back in Queensland did. But it didn't really matter. It wasn't like she'd ever be able to go back. Not only does she have the money to go back, her father would never let her back into their life. No one would ever want her back. Queensland is just another memory, playing in her mind like a black and white movie.

She seemed to be reminiscing about her past a lot since she's been here..... She was used to not remembering. It was better that way. She's always conditioned herself into forgetting. Remembering was just too painful. Like remembering what her first word was. Or when they whole family dedicated their Saturday's to have family day. Or that Scott always dedicated his first soccer goal of every game to her. Or that her dad made her hot cocoa with mini marshmellows and gives her a big fat hug after a bad day or a bad dream. Stop it, Beth. Chill out before you cry again. Today's supposed to be a good day, remember? Right. Good day. No depressing shit. "Really? Yeah, I was kinda like that too. I was especially bad with names." Some people just have the weirdest name or it's just too long for her. It was like she was dyslexic or something, but it was just names. She can easily remember them, just has a hard time pronouncing them and stuff. "Except I didn't get teased for it." She told him with a small laughter.

Chance's hands were both next to her, an arms length away from the wall. This just seemed all too familiar. He'd look at her, and she'd look back flirtatiously, batting her eye lashes. She'd say some stuff to turn him own, tell him about all the kinky stuff she'd do to him, and then he'd lean in and they'd have a hot make out session. Unfortunately for her, it didn't happen. Damn fantasy, making her want him and everything. Now she was officially sexually frustrated. What the hell was she going to do now? She shouldn't have agreed to date two. That way she would have been able to keep her fuck buddies around for her entertainment. God, how she wanted to just jump his bones right there right now. Argh! Why did he have to be religious? Better yet, why did he have to be so good looking? It was infuriating. Sex deprivation is not something she was used to, and all this deprived-ness was making her angry. She took a deep breath and let it out. She was not angry. Just..... sexually frustrated. She didn't mean it when she said she shouldn't have agreed to a second date. She was glad they were going to have another one. As long as he didn't kiss her like he just did a minute ago, then she'll be fine. Maybe. Hopefully.

"Yeah, but my favourite one is pomegranate citrus. It tastes really really good." And it did. Sometimes she licked her lips on purpose cause it tasted yummy. And if she was bored, she'd sniff the tube of lip gloss for a couple of minutes. Yeah, she was really weird like that, but it just smelled so damn good. She couldn't resist. She grinned back at him, waiting for him to answer her question. "Oh." She looked disappointed. Not because she was disappointed with Chance's record, but because he could stay under water longer than she could. She was hoping she'd own him at breathing longer under water. "Mine is two, so we'll stick with that. Wanna play a game?" She asked, but she didn't wait for an answer. "The objective of the game is to get the surface first before the other person. Push, pull, do whatever you can to reach the top. No standing, kicking or anything that will hurt the other person." She explained, "Are you willing to bet that I'd win?" She asked, sending him a flirtatious wink.

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[chance joseph wilson]

"Well then you were lucky," he told her. "I still hear all about 'capetillers' in the garden," he said, shaking his head at the thought. Yeah, it had been many, many years but his sisters seemed to enjoy reminiscing. If Hannah ever met them, they would probably talk her ears off and give her about a million stories about little Chance and all his crazy antics.

He knew to expect it though. He was youngest out of the three of them by five and seven years so they still sort of remember him being a baby. The girls were close, being only about two years apart and of course they would have a lot in common and a lot to talk about like clothes and hair and other very girly things but then there was Chance, the little boy who was always playing outside and got dirty all the time.

He was a novelty in his family and his sisters seemed to think that he was like a little toy to play with, just this little kid they could play with and keep but then he grew up. Still, ever getting taller and bigger than them, they still acted like the bosses in every situation but Chance didn't mind, he had a great relationship with his sisters. They were religious but Chance never let that bother him too him, that wasn't really even the reason why he hadn't slept with a girl yet. Sure it had a little bit to do with influencing him but he didn't really care about that, it was just how he was raised. He was raised to believe that you should at least get to know a person before going that far.

"Pomegranate citrus?" he repeated, well that was a new one. Maybe he'd find out one day what that one tasted like. "What kinda game?" he asked, not sure where exactly she was going to go with this.

Chance raised an eye brow as she explained the rules of this game. "No," he said simply. It sounded like it would be a little dangerous. "How about I just kiss you again? And if you can escape in under a minute, you win," he told her. She wanted a game and this was be incredibly challenging at is.. and fun.