pushin' me away ,

[maxxie nolan winters]

Was Hope so against drinking? She seemed that was just when he had told her. But she didn't know how he used alcohol. Not many people did for that matter. And for his actions he got judged, and he hoped that Hope did not do that.

Maxxie drinks to cover it all up. Cover up all the secrets he keeps buried inside him--the secrets that he spilled to Hope just moments ago. Without alcohol Maxxie would be silent. He can't engage in conversation without having the slightest trace of alcohol in his system. Even a sip opens him up. By now, its more of a thing in his mind. Maxxie thinks that by drinking he is open, but he may not even be, his mind just tells him to.

But now Maxxie was listening to Hope. She really did hate alcoholism. Did she have a story relating to it? A secret? A nightmare? Was she keeping something from him? But it was none of Maxxie's business to ask. If Hope wanted to open up, she would, but why she hated someone drinking so much he had no clue. It's not like he--or anyone else--would harm her while drunk, right?

And now he had to explain himself. Make himself not sound like an egocentric alcoholic. "I have no idea why other people drink Hope. Its all their own story, and I have no idea what that may be. But for me, I drink to cover it all up, and the sink away from the world. And also to open up and talk to people," Maxxie answered vaguely. Did he want to persist her with a question or two, or not? "Why do you hate drinking Hope?" Obviously he did.

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[victoria hope jean]

The young brunette felt kind of bad for just spilling on that on him. He did drink, after all. She didn't know why, but she just knew that she couldn't help but hate anything to do with alcohol or drugs. After putting up with her brothers and his friends crazy ways when they would get ahold of those substances was enough to make her sick of it. She didn't try it, but she didn't have to. She saw the outcome of getting drunk or high. She felt like a prude when she told someone that, or just thought about it, but she also she knew that her thinking was in the right state of mind.

When he started explaining himself, she bit her bottom lip and listened intently. Well, maybe she could understand why he did so, he did go through a lot, after all. Still, others just did it for fun, for kicks. That's what pissed her off. They'd get so shitfaced, they didn't realize what they were doing. Then, they'd have to live with the regret of whatever they did for the rest of their lives. She wasn't going to judge Maxxie just because he drank, she didn't do that. She was, however, going to let him know how she felt about it and how she thought it was bad for him.

When he asked her why she hated drinking, she didn't answer him for some time. She had good reasoning, well atleast her mind she did. She didn't really want to answer him, but he opened up to her so much. She could trust him, right? She could tell him her whole story. It included why she hated those substances, why she was here, what happened to her.. Yes, she could tell him. Finally, she opened her mouth and began to speak, "It's not that hard to hate drinking for me. The minute my brother entered high school, he started acting different. He wouldn't talk to me.. He would only hang out with his new friends. He started getting into more and more trouble. Mainly because he was drunk or high all the time. Finally, he started talking to me again and introduced me to his group of friends. They were all I talked to, hung out with. So, I saw how they acted drunk and high, and only grew to detest it even more. I'd always be the one to watch over them, make sure nothing bad happened. The last party I went to with them was the main reason I grew to hate drinking and drugs. My brother and his friends started drinking, getting pretty much shitfaced, and then they also decide to play pharmacy, getting on a pretty bad trip. I leave to go to the restroom and my brothers best friend, Alex, pushed me in and raped me," She said, her hands frozen on the guitar as she thought of all those times with them. Babying them, making sure they were okay, just to have it thrown in her face, "I know I shouldn't blame it on just the alcohol and drugs that were in his system, since he fully remembered, but still didn't care. I just can't help it. Anything to do with drinking, drugs, or parties I hate."