Take A Ride With Me [Bryson]

[bryson michael preston]

"Does it feel the same now that you are older and not being in the modeling scene?" he asked seeing that she could do it, but she had been younger of course. He was really curious to how she did feel about not bein able to do it. He really wanted to know if she would really be okay and how she felt about not having it.

Bryson smiled at the discription of the girls mother. She sounded like a true parent or mother figure. She was there for her daughter. "Its always nice to have a great influence." he said speaking nicely about her mother. They'd come back to that. He would need more things to talk to her about but for now it was knd of finding the stem of why shefelt the way she felt.

"Do you think you might be able to find people that would help you feel like you around here...?" he asked. It always helped. "I mean I know it has just been a week." he said just trying to see where that got him. It wa kind of like small talk a bit.

All teen girls always over thought thingsit wasn't likeit was some big epedemic or anything like that. That was how they all were and he could just tell tht this boy was a girl through and through he wasn't even trying and he kind of fit more of the mold. It was who he was a she.

The look on her face semed to lighten up as if she had a change of heart. Maybe she understood that he wasn't trying t be the bad guy. He was really tring to help her and he just really wanted to acutally hear about her and what she had to say. She pry thought he was pry really outto tackle what was considered to be her problem and eliminate it, but he wasn't like that at all.

"What is it like try and tell me." he said wanting to understand what she was going for. Sure he read about the fact that she had bruises and stuff so he made the connection. "Did he hurt you more then emotionally?" he asked knowing that was going to be tough

"Why do you think you felt agnry at yourself?" he asked curiously. She should have been agnry at her father. He was trying to make her into something she was not. Who would do something like that? She had no reason to be mad at herself unless the guy had gave her that mindset.

"Thats a very tramatic experience, but tell me something have you ever felt like your life is a mistake before you lived with the man? Do you like who you are? Ho are you the happiest?" he asked throwing all those out there. It was something to think about sure, the guy was an ass and that was way wrong, but up until that point she was who she was and it didn't matter. Why should it matter now? It shouldn't people always told you that you couldn't do shit, but did that mean you wouldn't. "He hasn't been in your life for years from what I understand...so what makes his opinion count for you?" he asked raising a brow. Sure, it sounded rude, but he was asking.

The clean version of a story. He took that with a grain of salt. He knew he could get a deaper story. The fact that she was facing the words though that was a good thing. "Tell me something...how are you a monster?" he asked. ''You've been you for as long as you can remember and in life right? he was painting her the picture. "Who's wrong about being themselves? Sure, you change stuff from time to time, but what Im trying to say you made a choice and you like who you are...so tell me do you think you are a monster?" he asked.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

"It's the same," she said. It was just something she did and enjoyed doing. It made her feel pretty and like a girl and sometimes she just needed that but simply dressing up like she had now and putting on her make-up, doing her hair, that did the same thing too.

Zilya nodded in agreement. She had a great mother and although she was gone now, Zilya still had the chance to know her and that made all the difference. She had been very lucky to have that and she was aware of it too.

"I.. I don't know.. Maybe," she said. There were she talked to who she was sure wouldn't care too much about it. Zilya used to be good at identifying those people but now with all the doubt, she just wasn't as sure as she used to be. If she had come here under different circumstances and hadn't seen her father, things would have been very different. She would have made more friends, they would have known about her and she would be going out, having fun and being happy but she meet him and that changed a lot of things.

Zilya sat up a little straighter now. She didn't feel like she was going to cry or anything. It was just the initial reaction and it only made her feel worse. It was stupid and weak and she didn't need to be doing that.. No, she had to stop thinking like that. This isn't her, she hadn't always been like this.

Zilya looked up, blue eyes suddenly afraid to admit any more than she had already said. She looked away, she didn't want to get into trouble. He could pull her out of this school and lock her up again if she did anything wrong. She didn't want that. She didn't want to be here but being there was much, much worse so instead Zilya just stayed silent, not answering his question about whether or not the man had done more than just emotional harm. A boy would have been able to take it and brush it off and be just fine so why couldn't she? He had pointed that out too and Zilya didn't know the answer... Except to say that she just wasn't a boy at all.. Perhaps physically but nothing more.

She thought about it and leaned back a fraction as though she were trying to distance herself from this. Why did she think that? Well wasn't it true? Wouldn't that be enough of a reason? "because.. maybe he was right," she said. If it had been anything else.. if it had been just her sexuality then maybe she might have stood up for herself a little more and simply decided that he didn't understand but this was more than that. the physical and very real proof was right there and she saw it every damn day so it was near impossible to believe he was wrong when there was that.

She thought about it. It seemed so obvious but even in the face of logic and reason, she still had her doubts. It was only human. People ignored the obvious sometimes and having it pointed out was only the first step. It took time to really except it, if it ever even happens at all. "i was happy before," she said quietly, perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed in thought. Maybe he was the problem... It was hard to accept it after what happen but the doctor had pointed out something so obvious but something she hadn't seen before. Perhaps part of the reason she so easily believe him was because of everything that had happened. She had a great relationship with her mother. Parents were suppose to be that way and now the only one she has left tells her all these horrible things, of course she would believe him. He was her father. He may not have been there for most of her life but shouldn't his opinion mean something? She couldn't see that the man might be the monster and not her because he was her father.

"he's my father," she said like the answer was completely obvious. He was her father and that was suppose to count for something. What made his opinion count? how about the fact that he was the only living parent she had left. She was only seventeen. She relied so heavily on her mother than she hadn't quite learned how to be independent. She needed a family, she needed the support. That wasn't her fault, it was how she was raised, sheltered but happy.

Zilya's hands were on her lap but one moved to the arm rest and held it. She didn't like these questions. She looked almost a little angry that they were asked of her. Was this how he was suppose to be? It was starting to seem a lot less professional right now being in her face with all these questions like this.. But then maybe her view of the situation was a lot skewed.

She bit her bit. everything she had been thinking was starting to crumble. It was as though she had wasted all this time being upset when she had no right to be, when she should have simply been angry and just stood up for herself and she hadn't done that. she had let herself down. she didn't want to face this right now.

She just shook her head and brought her hands back together. She may not be a monster but she was weak for not fighting harder to prove that to him. She hadn't done anything at all, she just got hurt and that was a stupid thing to do but she couldn't help it. If it wasn't that it was something else but it seemed Zilya always had a reason to find fault with herself.

Outfit

[bryson michael preston]

It was good that she thought it was the same it meant that she could live without needing modeling to feel like herself. That would always be a good thing. It may be harder to do something that you had once shared with your mother anyways especially when youwere copoing with her death still. Or trying to get over it though she seemed to still love her mother. After all she told him how amazing she was.

"Well, it will take time...trusting people can be hard." he said with a nod. He could tell that it would be a task that well wouldn't be easy for her., but the people here well some of them were really out there and some of them were really out there in differen senses of course.

The silence set in when he kind of pushed on about physical abuse. That meant that he had hit her. See she did not have to answer for him to know. He could just tell. He could tell however she answered or if she didn't answer he just nodded a little bit and took a drink of water taking another mental note. That was the interesting thing he remembered what he had to then wrote it down once they were gone or not looking if not the person would become self conscious.

Bryson had to withdrawal himself from this he had started not being professional. Sure, she could say that, but he wasn't buying it. Maybe was the key word there. "Okay" he said simplythinkingthat if se wanted so say mor about that she would. Sure she was physically a bou to an extent, but he knew better.

"He's not here your not trapped and your almost an adult...what couldn't you be happy again?" he asked her. "Think about how proud you have always been and how proud your mother and friends are." he said pointing it out so that she realized that it was plossible and actually thought about it in better terms her mother who had always been there.

"I realize that, but you should be true to yourself is all I'm saying." he sad and licked his lips. Maybe that might be to hard to do being that he was her only parent but had he ever really been a parent? Was it his job to tell her she was a monster? Was that a good parent?

Bryson could tell maybe he was pissing her off a little. Maybe he was asking too many questions. He took a deep breath and watched her. He felt kind of bad now. No it was his job! He was asking the good questions.

The sense of regret was often the worst kind. "You can't change what happened to yesterday or two years ago its in the history books, but you can change your outcome you can rise against the odds and chose to change what you want or if you want to change at all. That power lies within you and no one else."

There was always those people that tended to blame themselves and he could see that Zilya was oneof those people girls tended to be more soe then guys. as interesting. In a sick sense. She had to stop doing that. She really did it wasn't healthy.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya nodded. She knew this. Making friends wasn't the easiest thing in the world but she could do it. She just wasn't feeling up to it right now which was fair considering all that happened. What she felt like doing now was hiding away from the world for a while and everyone had moments like those.

He seemed to let her get away with not answering a few questions properly and Zilya was grateful for that. It was less that she had to think about but still, it seemed like he knew exactly which questions to keep pushing on her. He knew exactly how to get at the problem and she had been afraid of letting him do that but he did seem like he truly wanted to help her. Zilya could see that.

Zilya didn't like where this was going at all. She didn't know why she would resist it this much but she did. He was only trying to help but but she didn't like it for some reason. She didn't want to stop and have to take a good look at herself because she wasn't sure what she might find and she most certainly didn't want to accept the fact that she had been fine and that one man could break her down so easily. It made her feel weak and helpless and she hated it.

He was making sense thought. The doctor was right. How could she let that man get away with saying that to her. He was wrong and she was angry. At first at herself then at all these questions and now it was starting to be directed at her father. So maybe this was actually going somewhere, maybe the doctor was actually helping.

When he said what he said, she looked up at him again. He was right. She couldn't change the past but she could at least try to live her life the way she wanted to starting from right now. She just nodded but looked away. She had a lot to think about. He was right, she couldn't let it get to her like this. It wasn't good for her.

Outfit

[bryson michael preston]

Dr. Preston can sense things winding down and the man felt that it was time to maybe wrap this session up. He watched as she wrestled her thoughts and emotions and such an just let her do that for a moment thinking everything they had covered. Thy had hit a lot of good ground that they needed to hit. He as happ that that had happened and that he had hopefully made her open her eyes or helped her in any sense possible. Even if it was the tiniest reaction she got and would use in her everyday life that would help. He rolled up his sleeve looking at the clock. Man it went by so fast no a days or now a hour. He could hardly believ it but he had too. Well, it would get them some good ground and would five her a lot to think about which wasn't a bad thing, but sometimes it culd be a bad thing.

"Alright, so our session is almost up but Zilya I would like to kind o know what you're taking from this and be real I want some depth." he told her. He wanted to know what she had to say about this session. Even if it was negative feedback he wanted to know. Well, it wasn't feedback it was about what she had learned about herself and how she was going to honor that. Was she going to go make a friend or two or was she going to hide? Did she learn that not all reality was pleasent? Was he a jerk off that needed to mind his own and stay out of hers. Even though it was his job. Anything was better then nothing at all and that is why he had asked for a little bit of depth. Maybe he'd need to work on something or it would give him something to check up on the next time she came in here.

"We also need to schedule another session before you lave in say about a week?" he asked her checking the time again. "Same time." he said just to make sure that that would be okay. He wasn't done, but he was done for today which musht be a relief off ofher back or something.

[zilya alexis raskolnikov]

Zilya looked up at him when she said that the session was almost up. She didn't really want to think about any of it but then he asked what she would take away from this. A lot. She had a lot to think about. A part of her just plain didn't like that depth they had gone to. He was trying to get to the core of her problems and that was understandable but she wasn't sure she liked it.

It just felt kind of intrusive. She knew it would be for the best to get to the problem, identify it and try to fix it but she wasn't sure what to think about any of it now. It was like she had locked it all away in a box and he had just opened it. Now the contents were exposed and a mess and she wasn't entirely sure where to start or what to do about any of it.

this sort of thing just took time but it was a good start. she opened her mouth to speak but paused for a moment. "there is just a lot for me to think about," she told her. she wasn't taking much away except the fact that maybe she needed to think about this differently and try to change things some how.

Zilya nodded, blinding agreeing to the next session time. She was still lost in thought but it was a good thing. Same time, next week. Yes, she could do that. She would just have to be ready for that, who knows what might happen or what she might end up saying or realizing.

Outfit